


A Revolving Door, Never Closing.

by OakTreeDruid



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Gen, Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Mental Health Issues, Prostitution, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-10-31 13:25:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17850296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OakTreeDruid/pseuds/OakTreeDruid
Summary: The life and times of Klaus Hargreeves - dysfunctional junkie, disappointing son, annoying brother and kid superhero who never lived up to his full potential. From childhood to adulthood to childhood redux.As seen through the eyes of his siblings (and Pogo) as well as the man himself.(This fic is going to look at canon and post-canon, focusing on Klaus and how his problems don't stop even after they all jump back in time to work out a way to save the world.)





	1. Pogo

**Author's Note:**

> I've written a bunch of this fic already, most of it while taking hits from a bong made of a Dare Iced Coffee Triple Espresso bottle, some copper piping that used to be part of a tap and a cone piece made of tinfoil. I haven't edited any of it yet, so in the future I'll probably make some changes to each chapter. Honestly this is a bit of a mess (I'm pretty sure it goes in and out of past/present tense with no warning) but it's the first time I've been inspired to write fic for a couple of years no so I thought I'd use that inspiration while it lasts. 
> 
> Anyway, first up is Pogo.

POGO

 

1990 – AGE >1 YEARS

 

Sir Reginald is surprised when he only manages to acquire seven of the forty-three children and this doesn’t surprise Pogo in the slightest. For all of Master Hargreeves intelligence the man simply doesn’t understand the love that most feel for their young.

 

Already Pogo loves each of the children with all his heart (though Number Seven might be his favorite with her calm demeanor and already intelligent dark eyes). Most nights he makes his way to the nursery to check in with the babies, even though there’s a Nanny at the ready should any of them stir.

 

This night though Pogo doesn’t make his way to the main nursery, instead he heads to a room across the house, following the sound of crying. It’s only been a few months and already Number Four has proven be a nervous baby, prone to screaming and crying fits. Master Reginald had made the decision to move Number Four across the house into his own room, so the other infants would not be disturbed at night.

 

Pogo’s already witnessed his Master running tests on the upset baby, seen Reginald’s frustration at Number Fours crying. There’s been no sign of Number Four having problems hearing or seeing, which means Reginald is still holding out hope that the screaming and crying is tied to Number Four being special, and not simply a sign that the child is faulty.

 

(That’s the word his Master uses, ‘faulty’ and Pogo makes a mental note then and there to make sure each of the children someone loves them. He can only hope that he doesn’t have to chose between love and loyalty.)

 

Pogo opens the door to Number Four’s room, wincing as the sound of crying gets louder. It’s almost impressive that the child hasn’t destroyed his voice yet and can still manage to be so loud. Pogo closes the door quietly behind him, and moves towards the crib quietly and slowly – as though moving too fast will somehow disturb the baby even more.

 

“Hello there little one.” Pogo says to the crying child, reaching down and hoping that this night he’ll be able to soothe Number Four, even if it’s only for an hour or two. He’s not sure if he imagines it but Pogo thinks Number Four gets a little quieter.

 

He keeps talking, recounting his day to the baby and walking around the room. Eventually Number Fours eyes stop starting into empty air, and Pogo watches as they move to fix on him. The children are all too young to see very well yet, but the way Number Four’s eyes look at him makes Pogo feel like the baby is seeing more than he should.

 

In the end Pogo manages to calm Number Four for long enough that the Nanny appears to collect the child for breakfast. Pogo hopes that Number Four has a good day, that he can spend some time with his brothers and sisters – who will all certainly need each other some day.

 

* * *

 

1995-1998 – AGE 6-9 YEARS

 

Training starts all too soon and Pogo watches the children grow with a mix of pride and sorrow. (Sometimes he wishes he could bundle the children away in the middle of the night and find them a calmer, simpler, happier life).

 

Number Four takes the longest to learn to talk but by the time training starts he’s the loudest of the children, talking now instead of crying. Number Two is instead the one who struggles to communicate and Master Reginald hasn’t described Number Four as being faulty for a while. (Pogo knows that Number Four still cries at night – but his room is designed to be sound proof, since some level of closeness is necessary for the children to develop into a cohesive team and Number Four’s screaming fits would keep all of them awake.)

 

Pogo knows that Number Four’s emotional nature and tendency to talk without thinking or listening to those around him still frustrates his Master, who feels that Number Four’s power could grow if the child would sit still and be quiet. As it is Number Fours powers prove the most difficult to train and monitor – it’s hard even for a man of Sir Reginald's intelligence to accurately measure an ability that first manifests as the ability to talk to the dead.

 

For the moment Master Hargreeves focuses most of his attention on training the other children, both individually with their powers and all together for matters of study and strategy. They have trainers to teach them the basics of physical fighting which Number Four and Number Six both seems reluctant to engage in. Both of them are so gentle, despite their different temperaments and Pogo wishes they had a choice to not fight at all.

 

Pogo considers, for a while, saying something to let Number Four know that he’s as important as the others when Master Reginald’s attention passes the child by. Nothing comes of this though, as his Masters experiments with Number Seven’s powers prove distracting and alarming.

 

Number Seven’s well-being and her bitter confusion at being the only one of her siblings that is perfectly ordinary is of more concern than Number Four feeling left out. Without Number Seven needing the same training now Number Four gets more of his father’s time and attention anyway, so that situation solves itself.

 

Training continues and Number Four continues to be a loud, happy (often melancholy child, suffering night terrors in silence) as the siblings grow. There’s already so many issues between all of them coming to light, co-dependence and anxiety galore that Pogo has no idea how to fix. His Master seems oblivious to it all, only seeing his children as physically healthy and obedient. Missions begin, covert ones to test how the team works in the real world before Master Hargreeves goes public with them.

 

Number Four seems to thrive on the attention and responsibility, he’s calmer than Pogo has ever seen him before and more focused. He can actually get a straight answer out of Number Four when he asks a question and it feels like Number Four is listening to all them clearly for the first time in his life.

 

Pogo has no idea anything is wrong until he finds the empty bottle of cough syrup hidden in the back of Number Four’s wardrobe. Sudden concern and guilt hit Pogo like he’s been stabbed, and he remembers how dismissive he’s been of Number Four lately – after all he was the only one who seemed to be coping with the new missions with no problem. Pogo feels like he should have known right away that there was something more to Number Four’s improved mood.

 

Pogo takes the bottle to his Master. Reginald barely looks up from his writing and doesn’t pause in his note taking.  
  
“I was hoping that Number Four would stick to stealing alcohol from my collection for now.” Sir Reginald says, head twitching to the side in a barely there shake of disappointment.

 

“He’s been been stealing alcohol?” Pogo asks, the hand still holding out the bottle of cough syrup falls to his side in surprise.

 

“Number Four thinks I’m unaware that he likes to steal sips of brandy. So far I’ve allowed it as it he focuses on my instructions during training with increased efficiency and his disposition is less nervous and hysterical. As long as it doesn’t negatively effect his performance on a mission them I’m happy to allow his indulgence. The same will go for this.” Reginald gestures with his pen towards the bottle Pogo is gripping. “I trust you won’t say anything.” Reginald adds.

 

“Not say anything?” Pogo asks.

 

“Of course, it’s important that Number Four remains focused on his training and studies, as long as this doesn’t effect his performance on the missions they’ll be undertaking then there’s nothing to talk about.”

 

Pogo has been with Master Hargreeves long enough to hear the order in his Masters voice. It shouldn’t be surprising, Pogo already knows from everything that happened with Vanya that in the end loyalty to his Master defeats love even in the worst scenarios.

 

* * *

 

2002 – AGE 13 YEARS

 

The team goes public and the training only gets more intense. Sir Reginald orders Grace to name the children before they go public, showing a sudden recognition for normal naming conventions that Pogo wonders why his Master didn’t do so sooner. Not that his Master ever uses the names Grace picks out. Master Hargreeves exact orders are for Grace to name six of the children, and Pogo quietly enjoys his Masters surprise when Grace selects names for all the children except Number Five.

 

There’s nothing to be gained from rescinding the order though, so Five stays Five and Number Seven gets her own name. Pogo is happy for the children and happy to have something to call each of them, other than a number. If Five had asked he would have helped the child select his own name as well, but Five never asks and then one day he’s gone.

 

Vanya occupies as much of his time as Pogo can spare, she was only ever close to Five and sometimes Ben, so the loss of one of the two siblings she loves more than the others hurts her. She seems more isolated than ever, and works as her fathers assistant with no complaint and an eerie compliance.

 

The children’s abilities seem to grow as they hit puberty and for a solid month Master Hargreeves attention is focused on Klaus, focused on making Number Four develop his abilities. Pogo can see that Klaus is struggling under the surge in attention – what he might have been desperate for as a toddler now makes him uncomfortable as a teenager.

 

One day Klaus fails to appear at meal times or at training sessions and Sir Reginald explains away his absence as Number Four having to study with no distractions. Pogo checks Klaus’s bedroom, but the door is locked and the room is soundproofed anyway.

 

It should occur to him to double check, or question his Master but Pogo has his hands full when Diego and Luther get into an argument and Klaus’s whereabouts slips from his thoughts. Until the middle of the night, when Sir Reginald sweeps into the house after an unexplained absence, leading a wide eyed, dust streaked Klaus behind him.

 

“Go to bed Number Four.” Reginald says, already disappearing into his study and leaving the child standing in the main room alone. Pogo is standing on the upper walk way and he hurries down the stairs when Klaus fails to move.

 

The look in Klaus’s eyes when he gets close stops Pogo dead in his tracks. It’s like Klaus can’t see anything around him, like he’s a million miles away but not with his head in the clouds, instead his head is in a grave. Klaus blinks slowly, face worryingly blank and when Pogo takes another step forward his gaze snaps to the movement.

 

“Pogo?” Klaus whispers. There’s tear tracks down his face where his crying has left streaks through the dust and cobwebs covering him.

 

“Yes, dear boy?” Pogo replies, reaching out but not quite touching his shoulder in case Klaus reacts poorly.

 

“The dead listen as maggots eat their bodies. Is that what I can hear all the time? Are the dead eating me?” Klaus sways on his feet and Pogo catches him as he collapses in a heap.

 

Pogo sighs and carries the boy to bed, already knowing that trying to talk about this with his Master will get him nowhere. The best thing he can do is make sure that Klaus gets to bed and doesn’t just sleep on the floor where his father had left him. In the morning he’ll make sure Klaus gets cleaned up, and tell Grace to make him something special for breakfast.

 

After that night guilt is what stops Pogo from checking Klaus’s pockets every time he sneaks back into the house. Pogo ignores the way smell of smoke clings to Klaus, and that pot stops being Klaus’s go to on bad days and is instead his go to on everyday. If smoking helps keep Klaus happy and stops him from having screaming fits in the middle of the day then Pogo is willing to let it slide.

 

* * *

 

 

2006 – AGE 17 YEARS

 

The children start to leave. Klaus is the first – no Five is the first and then Ben, but Klaus is the first to leave by choice. It’s almost a relief, when Pogo notices Klaus isn’t skulking in the corridors muttering to himself under his breath and stealing anything that will fit in his pockets so he can fill his body with pills.

 

The other’s don’t seem to notice that Klaus is no longer around, but Pogo doesn’t blame them, he doesn’t blame anyone. (No, he does, he blames himself for not being strong enough to help, for not being strong enough to say something after any of the missions his Master sends the children on or after any of the training sessions that leave Klaus a little more disconnected and desperate to escape.)

 

Pogo can already tell that Vanya will be the next of the children to leave. He’s seen her looking at newspaper listings for jobs and apartments in the city. At least she’s planning her escape, while Klaus simply left with a backpack one night and no plan. He can’t imagine that the others will hold on for much longer, except maybe Luther – who’s never grown out of his craving for parental approval.

 

The house will soon be empty, cold and lonely again. Pogo will miss each of the children once they’re gone but he doesn’t blame them for wanting to escape. He sighs, opening the door to Klaus’s bedroom and taking in the chaos Klaus had left behind. Pogo’s not optimistic enough to believe Klaus will be any safer out of the house than he was in it, but maybe there’s a chance that without his father looking over his shoulder he’ll get clean and find something to live for.

 

There’s a pile of dirty laundry at the foot of Klaus’s bed. Normally Grace would have picked it up but when Klaus left Sir Reginald had told Grace to not bother taking care of his room any more. Pogo sighs again, lifting the pile onto the bed and deciding that since his Master hasn’t said anything about Klaus’s room to him then he's free to clean it up if he chooses. If Klaus returns Pogo wants his room ready for him, clean and warm and comforting (not that it’s ever been those things before).

 

There’s a book on the bedside counter and Pogo picks it up. It’s surprising since he’d never known Klaus to take books back to his bedroom, and when he sees the inscription inside ‘propery of Ben Hargreeves’ it being by Klaus’s bedside suddenly makes sense. Pogo gently places it back down on the table. He’ll leave the book there, in case Klaus comes home looking for it. The pile of papers, crumpled and half burnt on Klaus’s desk he’ll throw out though.

 

Pogo starts clearing Klaus’s room, filling the trash can by the desk. When he picks up the empty tissue box he hears something rattle inside it. Turning the box upside down Pogo watches as a pair of used needles fall onto Klaus desk. Suddenly his hope that Klaus will get clean now that he’s left the academy seems horribly naive.

 

* * *

 

 

2019 – AGE 29 YEARS

 

The children are back home and Pogo is glad his Master isn’t there to greet them. They already seem so unhappy and broken, all standing like adults but with eyes like the children they used to be. Sir Reginald’s plan seems even more misguided now, as Pogo overhears the children talking about how strange it is to be back home and other than Luther, none of them seem concerned about their father’s passing.

 

Regardless of the part he’s to play in Sir Reginald’s plans, Pogo is happy to see them all again. He’s maybe extra pleased to see Vanya, the only one of the children who greets him with a hug. He wishes Ben and Five where there as well, maybe if Ben was still around Klaus’s sharp edges would be a little softer.

The first day back the siblings move from room to room, talking in polite but disinterested voices – though Pogo occasionally catches a glimpse of the connection that used to bind them all together. Allison and Luther reunited, talking with heads bent towards each other about families and the way the Earth looks viewed from the moon. Diego struggling to ask Vanya something about the violin, wanting to connect but too clumsy to seem natural, but Vanya answers anyway and Diego listens. It’s all awkward but Pogo watches from a distance, feeling his heart fill with love for each of them.

 

And then there’s Klaus, pouring drink after drink from his Father’s collection of alcohol, seemingly reveling in the fact there’s no one there to stop him. Pogo considers asking him to stop, but alcohol seems fairly harmless compared to the poison Klaus regularly fills himself with. He catches sight of the rehab bracelet on Klaus’s wrist and it upsets him to know that Klaus doesn’t stop even when he’s just been let out.

 

“It’s like...” Klaus says. Pogo pauses, standing still on the balcony over looking the main room. He’d been going to ask Luther about the service they had planned for later – to check if there was anything special he could do for it but Klaus’s voice catches his attention.

 

“It’s like, so weird drinking this stuff.” Klaus continues, Allison’s skirt flapping around his legs as he twirls in place. “Dear old Daddy being dead almost takes the fun out of it.”

 

Pogo opens his mouth, unsure if Klaus somehow knows he’s there and is talking to him, but then Klaus lets out a laugh and shakes his head.

 

“I don’t know, you’re more likely to see him now than I am. Maybe you can start the dead Hargreeves club – keep some seats warm in hell for the rest of us. Hell would probably seem like a break after all these years following me around anyway.” Klaus keeps the conversation going, speaking to empty space and occasionally giggling and shaking his head at something only he can hear.

 

Pogo wants to imagine that it’s Ben that Klaus is talking to. Actually he knows it’s Ben but Pogo wants to imagine that Ben is really there, that Klaus is talking to his ghost and this isn’t some sign that Klaus’s already fragile mind has fractured even more over the years. The problem is Pogo doesn’t understand Klaus’s ability very well, all he knows is that drugs and alcohol dull it and that it’s never been easy to tell where Klaus’s imagination ends and reality begins.

 

Pogo doesn’t want to interrupt. He creeps away quietly, wanting the conversation that seems pleasant from the way Klaus is laughing to continue and hoping that Ben really is there for his brother, since no one else seems to be. Pogo doesn’t have the time to help Klaus right now, it’s important that he fulfils his Master’s last wish and keeps the mystery on track, this is the last act of loyalty he has to fulfil and once it’s over maybe then he can focus on love instead.

 

In the end what he wants doesn’t matter, and Pogo is left facing down Vanya and the knowledge that giving into his own sense of loyalty was a mistake. If he could have openly shown the children how much he loved them. If he had only chosen to reject his Master’s orders and made sure that he was there for the children, despite everything he owed Sir Reginald. Well maybe then Pogo wouldn’t be left standing in front of Vanya, pleading with her to stop and feeling like his own guilt will kill him if Vanya doesn’t first.

 

Vanya throws him across the room and Pogo feels the antlers pierce through his chest. As he struggles to breath, feeling the life drain from his body and his blood drip down to the floor Pogo hopes that the children manage to escape the house in time.

 

And everything goes dark.

 

* * *

 

2001 – AGE 12 YEARS (AGAIN)

 

The children have all been acting strangely for the last few days and Pogo can’t help but worry. Master Hargreeves had announced they would soon be going public with the team, and then later that very night Pogo and Sir Reginald had found the children all out of bed, standing in a circle under the oak tree at a little past 3 in the morning.

 

It’s been two days since then and for whatever reason Vanya has been asleep the entire time. Pogo is keeping watch over her, his Master gave him the order but Pogo likes to think he’d be sitting by Vanya’s bedside regardless.

 

The other children have been refusing to say what they were doing, even in the face of Sir Reginald’s shouting and demands for answers. Pogo knows his Master is convinced Vanya being unconscious is somehow connected to her powers, since the other children have been getting stronger lately.

 

A movement on the bed catches Pogo’s attention and he looks up from the book he’s been reading to see Vanya’s hand move, her body sleepy shifting on under the blankets for the first time since that night. She doesn’t wake though, but Pogo is hopeful she will soon and that’s exactly what he reports to his Master later that afternoon. He lets the children know as well and isn’t sure what to make of the looks they all exchange – a mix of concern and fear.

 

That night, after the children have eaten dinner Pogo is drawn to the main room by the sound of glass breaking. He’s expecting to find Luther and Diego entangled in another ill-advised wrestling match and is already preparing a variation of his ‘keep the fighting to the training room’ speech when he enters and sees Klaus standing by the liquor cabinets, swaying on his feet.

 

There’s broken bottles strewn across the floor and it prevents Pogo getting close to the boy – neither of them are wearing shoes after all. So far it’s only Pogo who’s attention has been caught by the sound of smashing bottles and he watches as Klaus grabs another from the liquor cabinet (an aged brandy, a beautiful shade of golden amber in an ornate bottle).

 

Klaus pops the top off the bottle and raises it to his lips, drinking down the liquid in fast gulps. Pogo takes a step forward despite his lack of shoes and Klaus stops drinking, stepping back onto the glass. Klaus lets out a pained hiss and shakes his head at Pogo.

 

“Stay back.”

 

“Master Klaus, please put down the bottle.” Pogo says, tone gentle and hands raised in placating gesture.

 

“Oh, put it down?” Klaus asks, eyes wide and innocent. It’s not that surprising when instead of putting it down Klaus smashes the bottle against the floor and grabs another different one. This bottle is scotch and Pogo watches the boy take drink a few mouthfuls before letting out a loud belch. “Wooooo, that’s the stuff.” Klaus slurs.

 

Pogo hears footsteps from the hallway and turns to see his Master watching from the entrance way, with a look of disdain on his face. Klaus clearly notices Reginald’s arrival as well because the boy lets out a cheer of excitement.

 

“There he is! The motherfucker of the hour, not literally of course. Or hey, maybe it is literal. Did you program some extra speeds and functions in Grace, Dad? Or are you to busy fucking all of us up to actually fuck Mom.” Klaus’s voice gets louder and louder as he talks, until the volume has Pogo wincing as Klaus practically screams, “Cause I’m dying to know if you like torturing us cause it’s the only way you can get your rocks off.”

 

Pogo looks back at Sir Reginald again, to see how his Master will react but his Master’s expression is blank and he doesn’t say anything. Klaus hurls the bottle he’s holding at the wall before grabbing another one. Pogo winces as Klaus starts walking towards his father, seemingly unaware of the glass crunching under his feet.

 

“I disgust you, don’t I?” Klaus asks, wobbling on his feet in front of Sir Reginald. Klaus raises the bottle and for a moment Pogo thinks he’s going to throw it at his father despite the consequences of such an action.

 

“Is there a reason for all of this Number Four? Is there a point you’re trying to make with these histrionics or do you simply have too much free time?” Sir Reginald asks, voice calm, controlled and cold towards the drunken child in front of him.

 

“Oh, you know. Any excuse to party.” Klaus says in a glib tone that’s ruined when seconds later his body hunches over and he vomits alcohol across the carpet.

 

Pogo can see the disgust in Sir Reginald’s expression, but there’s another emotion there that Pogo thinks might be confusion. Or maybe he’s reading too much into it because he’s confused right now, confused as to what’s wrong with Klaus and why he’s acting this way.

 

Sir Reginald grasps Klaus by the shoulder and begins directing the boy towards his office. “Pogo, see to it that this mess is cleaned up.”

 

“Of course Master Reginald.” Pogo says, watching his Master lead the shaking, pale child away for what is certain to be a painful conversation.

 

How, Pogo thinks, has Klaus broken so suddenly?

 

Did he miss all of the warning signs that this was coming? Only a few days ago Pogo would have thought that Klaus was as happy as ever (which might not be very happy but it was still a long way from trying to drown himself in alcohol). For the moment his concerns about Vanya are gone, a peaceful and mysterious sleep seems more innocent now when there’s Klaus’s alcoholic rampage to compare it to. He can only hope this isn’t a sign that he’s been failing the children lately.

 

It doesn’t occur to him until much later that none of the other children had appeared to see what all the noise was. Shouldn’t the sound of shouting and breaking glass have brought all of them running?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this fic I've chosen to go with the idea that Pogo is at his core a nice guy/monkey, he just suffers from an excess of loyalty to a bastard who really doesn't deserve it. Also the side effects of characters time traveling must be confusing to the people who have no idea there was ever any time traveling.
> 
> Anyway let me know what you guys think so far... (Also, a word of warning, this fic is going to get a hell of a lot darker as it progresses.)


	2. Luther

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther is the perfect product of his imperfect upbringing - which basically means he's incredibly ill-equipped to deal with Klaus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was both easy and hard to write. There's probably stuff in it that I'll change later - I just wanted write something that captures the fact that all of them are damaged, and that sometimes means they damage each other as well.

LUTHER

 

1994 – AGE 5 YEARS

 

Number One isn’t sure if he likes Number Four any more. Normally Four is fun, he’s too loud but he lets Number One throw him around in the training room and laughs when he bounces on the mats. Lately though Four has been grumpy and quiet, lashing out at everyone. The main reason One is thinking that maybe he hates Four now is that when they’d all been playing hide and seek (or covert operations, like Dad calls it) Three had found Four and Four had bitten Three on her hand when she touched him.

 

One hates it when Three cries, it makes him feel like crying as well and all he can think about is that Four made Three cry. It’s why when they’re in the next training session and Dad tells them they’ll be practicing wrestling that One says he wants to wrestle with Four. It’s why One grabs Four’s arm while they’re wrestling and yanks on it, wanting to hurt him just enough that Four will cry like Three did.

 

Only there’s a loud snapping and Four doesn’t cry but he does make a noise that makes One feel sick. Suddenly Dad is there beside them, gesturing for One to move back. Dad grabs at Four’s arm and Four’s face goes all pale like milk as Dad moves his arm around.

 

“Well done Number One, clearly your strength training is having the desired affect.” Dad says, and One can’t help but smile at the praise. Even though Four is making sounds like he wants to cry but is trying not to.

 

Four has to sit out the rest of the training session, watching from the sidelines and One only occasionally glances at his brother. Dad takes up most of his attention though, giving him new instructions and seeming so interested in what One can do. By the time training is over One’s forgotten all about why he was angry at Four in the first place.

* * *

 

2000 – AGE 11 YEARS.

 

Dad’s started giving them missions to go on. So far it’s all small stakes, and they have to be careful not to reveal themselves yet since Dad says the timing isn’t right, but Number One can barely contain his excitement every time the mission siren goes off.

 

The only ones who never seem that excited are Number Four and Number Six (Number Seven doesn’t count because she’s not allowed on missions anyway, so One understands why she always seems upset when the siren goes off – staying home must be really boring). One tries to give them pep talks, and be the leader Dad expects him to be. Sometimes it works and One can get Six to be excited as well – though it fades whenever Six has to actually use his power on a mission.  
  
Four though never seems excited and One hasn’t mentioned it to Dad just yet, but he thinks sometimes that Four hides when they’re on missions, cause sometimes he’ll look around to check on the team (like a good leader does) and Four won’t be around. He always reappears as the mission is ending though and One doesn’t know if it’s worth mentioning to Dad because Four isn’t a lot of help even when he’s there. Six might not like fighting but at least his power is useful on missions, but Four can only manifest the dead and One can’t work out how summoning a dead guy will help them in a fight.

 

Dad says he has to keep an open mind though and be prepared to use anything to his advantage, so One hasn’t asked why Four goes on missions with them, even though Four might as well be like Seven when it comes to how useful he is in a fight. Four would probably be happier if they left him at home anyway.

* * *

 

2002 – AGE 13 YEARS

 

Luther can tell that Dad is angry, even if he hasn’t raised his voice yet. The way his fingers are gripping at the magazine containing the teams latest interview tells Luther everything he needs to know about his Dad’s mood.

 

“Number One.” Dad says, voice commanding enough respect that Luther tries to stand up even straighter. “From now on, I want you to make sure that Number Four doesn’t answer any questions with inappropriate remarks. I will of course make sure he knows what responses are appropriate, but if during an interview he begins to deviate from rehearsed answers I want you to make sure he behaves. We can’t allow him to carelessly damage the reputation of the academy.”  
  
Luther nods, puffing out his chest a little with pride that Dad trusts him to make sure his siblings behave appropriately and don’t damage the teams reputations. He leaves with office with a nod when Dad doesn’t say anything further, knowing a dismissal even if he doesn’t hear it.

 

Outside his Dad’s study though Luther frowns. He knows that his Dad wouldn’t tell him to keep an eye on Klaus if it wasn’t important but he’s not sure what Klaus had said that was ‘inappropriate’ or that could ‘damage’ the academy’s reputation. Sure Klaus had been silly, answering questions with jokes or comments that made no sense but Luther has no idea why that would make Dad so angry since it’s not like Klaus isn’t always silly.

 

Reading the magazine article for himself is clearly the best course of action (Dad always says that having as much information as possible is necessary when planning an attack) though normally Luther isn’t that interested in what magazines say about them. He’s only interested in how excited Allison is whenever they’re interviewed or when she’s talking about what’s been written about them. Luther gets all of his knowledge about the public’s opinion of the team from Allison – and it’s not because he likes listening to her talk (“Shut up Diego!”), it’s because delegating responsibility is important when you’re team leader so Luther delegates gossip magazines to Allison.

 

The article isn’t in a typical gossip teen magazine though, it was an ‘important interview in an important piece of written media’ - even if the cover of the magazine is still glossy and the questions weren’t that different from the ones every other magazine seems to ask. It’s not until Luther starts reading that he understands why Dad was so angry.

 

At first it’s straight forward, giving descriptions of him and each of his siblings and their answers to the questions they were asked even though not all of the questions made it into the article.

 

( _“Tell me about someone you admire Klaus?” The interviewer asks. This one is a woman, pretty in a way that makes Diego obviously nervous which makes Allison giggle every time Diego is asked a question and he stutters out an answer._

 

_“I really admire… centipedes.” Klaus drawls. He’s not been meeting anyone’s eyes today, and even now as he answers Luther can see that he’s looking to the left of the reporter instead of at her._

 

 _“Centipedes?” She asks, tone amused like she’s waiting for a punchline._  
  
_“Yeah, like how do they keep all those legs moving in the right direction. It’s really… admirable. I can barely walk in a straight line with only two them.”_

 

_Luther’s only half listening to Klaus talk. Instead he’s thinking about the photo shoot they’d done before the interview, and how excited Allison had been talking to the photographer and the stylist. She’d almost seemed to glow under all the studio lights, so happy with the attention and it had been hard for Luther not to spend every second looking at her._

 

_“Okay, what about your ideal date?” The reporter asks, starting to frown at little at Klaus’s reactions._

 

 _“I don’t mind March 4 th.” Klaus responds, and Luther can see that Ben is hiding a smile at Klaus’s innocent tone._)

 

But near the end of the article Luther understands why Dad was so angry. The reporter is writing about Klaus and the way she’s describing him it’s… it’s really mean in a way that makes Luther feel angry, confused and uncomfortable. Klaus is silly and harmless, always joking but in this article they make him sound dumb, describe him as being ‘obviously mentally challenged’. Then the reporter starts attacking the academy, calling it irresponsible and other words that Luther is pretty sure all boils down to the reporter thinking Dad is a bad guy for sending them on missions.

 

The reporter had been so nice during the interview though. Allison had really seemed to like her and had asked all these questions about the famous people she’d interviewed. Luther finds it hard to believe someone Allison liked would be so mean. So… maybe the article is Klaus’s fault. Maybe he was being so dumb when he was asking questions that the reporter thought Dad was really sending someone who could barely think on dangerous missions.

 

Luther nods to himself, finding it easier to accept that Dad is right and that Klaus shouldn’t be allowed to answer questions cause he makes them look bad, because the other option is that Dad is somehow wrong and is mad at the wrong person. Either Klaus did something bad, or the reporter is the one Dad should be mad at and Klaus is always doing bad stuff anyway. Luther nods again, trying to sort through his thoughts. He puts the magazine down and heads down to the training room. Punching stuff always makes him feel better when things are confusing.

 

He wishes he could punch all his problems away and all of Dad’s problems and his brothers and sisters problems (even Klaus’s and he seems to have a lot of problems). Luther wishes he could solve everyone’s problems and then they could all be happy and go on missions and save the world just like Dad says they will one day.

* * *

 

2005 – AGE 16 YEARS

 

Dad’s stopped sending Klaus on missions and Luther tries not to show how grateful that makes him. He should be disappointed like Dad about how Klaus is letting them all down through his reckless use of drugs that make him a liability during missions. Instead Luther is relieved because there’s one less thing he has to worry about during a fight. Despite all the training they go through Klaus has only ever been good at acting as the distraction or look-out and every time they’re involved in a large fight Luther feels like he spends half his time keeping an eye on Klaus to make sure the bad guys don’t hurt him.

 

He hadn’t wanted to explain this to Dad, since he’s certain a better leader would know how to utilize Klaus’s ‘unique abilities’ but when Klaus isn’t on missions there’s one less person that Luther has to worry about.

 

Dad asks him to talk to Klaus about his drug use, like somehow hearing from Luther that he should take care better care of his body will somehow get Klaus to listen even though he laughs every-time Dad tells him the same things. (Not that Dad tells Klaus anything, it’s more like he orders Klaus to stop and they all pretend not to hear the raised voices from Dad’s study, it’s like how they all pretend they never notice the way Klaus looks after Dad has him do one on one training sessions).

 

Luther knocks on Klaus’s bedroom door, even though it’s halfway open. He uses the delay waiting for Klaus to respond affords him to think about what he’ll say and plan a strategy for this conversation. Luther’s still not sure what Dad thinks he can accomplish by talking to Klaus, it’s not like words are his thing. (Sending Allison would be better but Allison refuses to use her powers on her siblings, has been refusing for years since they got older and it started feeling weird to tell them what to do).

 

“Come in...” Klaus sings out.

 

Luther pushes open the door and reels back at the thick scent of cigarettes, alcohol and the cloud of pot smoke hovering around Klaus’s bed.

 

“Oh hey there, if it isn’t Mr. Number One.” Klaus is flopped on his bed, head hanging over the edge with a lit joint dangling from his lips. Luther reluctantly impressed that Klaus can speak so clearly with something in his mouth.

 

“Uh, Dad wanted me to speak to you about-” Luther gets that far before Klaus starts laughing.

 

“Well of course he does, I wasn’t thinking you sought me out cause you just wanted to chat.” Klaus swings his legs off the bed in what’s probably meant to be a smooth move but instead looks painfully awkward. Klaus stands and moves towards him, inhaling and blowing a large cloud of smoke in Luther’s direction, grinning as Luther takes half step back and waves a hand in front of his face.

 

“Can you stop that?” Luther asks, feeling off-kilter at the way Klaus is acting. It’s like – like there’s something sharp in Klaus’s smile, a nervous energy vibrating under Klaus’s skin. He can’t remember seeing Klaus look this wild before, even when he’s been drinking and smoking.

 

“How about you just say whatever Dad wants you to say so you can go back to sucking the old man’s dick like a good little wind up soldier, okay?” Klaus keeps smiling, like he can’t tell how much his words are pissing Luther off.

 

“Listen-” Luther takes a step forward, grabbing Klaus by the shoulders and whatever he’s going to say next dies when he sees the look in Klaus’s eyes. Klaus looks hungry and desperate, like he wants Luther to react, like he wants Luther to get angry and it leaves Luther feeling weird and deflated. He lets go of Klaus, ignoring the way his brother shudders at the lose of physical contact.

 

Dad wanted him to say something, and Luther feels like he needs to say something but he just can’t think of the right thing to say. He can’t work out where this conversation will go and that’s just typical of Klaus, he makes plans fall apart. Luther thinks about what Dad asked him to do, to talk to Klaus and convince him to give up the drugs and become mission ready. Luther thinks about this and decides that no, the best thing for the team is not having Klaus there.

 

Luther turns and leaves without saying another word. He’ll tell Dad that he tried but Klaus can’t be convinced. He doesn’t want to lie to his Dad, but as the leader his first priority has to be the safety of his team and Klaus jeopardizes that safety.

* * *

 

2009 – AGE 20 YEARS

 

The sound of window breaking wakes Luther. He’s the only one in the house at the moment other than Grace, with Dad off on some sort of research trip, taking Pogo along with him. If it’s just some burglars that’ll be fine, and Luther’s fairly certain he can take out almost anything more serious than burglars – only in that case the house would probably be damaged.

 

Luther creeps down the hallway, not bothering to arm himself just yet. He can’t hear any sounds that would suggest a large group of people had broken in, so he’s fairly certain whoever this is they’re a dumb criminal not some dangerous force out for revenge against the academy. There’s been a few of those over the years but none for a while (not since the team dwindled down to only Luther).

 

“Come on, come on.”

 

Luther lets out a sigh when he hears this and gives up sneaking. It’s been a few years now but he can still recognize Klaus’s voice. The door to Klaus’s room is open and even though the light isn’t on Luther can still see his brother half under the bed.

 

“What are you doing?” Luther asks, and he doesn’t laugh when Klaus jumps and hits his head on the underside of the bed but it’s close.

 

“Looking for something I stashed here.” Klaus replies, not turning to look at him. “I was hoping to be in and out without anyone noticing. I’m guessing you’re going to go notify Dad about this...” Klaus trails off.  
  
“Dad isn’t here right now.” Luther says. “Anyway I think Pogo cleaned your room up after you left.”

 

Klaus finally emerges from under the bed, sighing in defeat and sitting back on his heels. “Yeah, I had noticed everything seemed a little less… messy than I left it. That’s just great.” He sighs again and stands up.

 

Luther hits the light switch, feeling the sudden urge to look at one of his siblings in person for the first time in over a year. He’s gone the longest without seeing Klaus (Allison he can see almost every time he turns on the TV even if she’s across the country) and his brother looks almost the same as when he left, he’s just a little more of everything he was before. A little taller, a little thinner, a little paler, hair a little longer, eyes a little darker. It isn’t until he’s looking at him that Luther realizes how much he missed Klaus – he misses all of them but he’d never been close with Klaus so realizing just how much he missed him is a surprise.

 

“Do you – do you need somewhere to stay tonight?” Luther asks, half remembering a phone call from Diego to Pogo, letting them know that Klaus was currently homeless. The call was two years ago, but looking at his brother now Luther is willing to bet the description is still accurate.

 

“As nice as that sounds...” Klaus says, almost sounding sincere. “I could go without Dad finding out about me crashing here. Might give the old man delusions about me wanting to come crawling back.” Klaus walks over and claps Luther on the shoulder. “You can let Dad know I didn’t steal anything this time. I can see myself out.”

 

Neither of them say goodbye, Luther just watches Klaus disappear down the hallway and around a corner. A few moments later he can hear a door open then close. He stands in Klaus’s room for a while longer then turns the light back out. He’s not sure if he wants to go back to sleep right now, so instead he goes to watch TV – it’s late and there’s normally reruns of the show Allison’s been starring on at this time of night.

 

Dad and Pogo get back the next day and things go back to normal. It’s not until a week goes by and Pogo offhandedly mentions that some items have gone missing (nothing important, a couple of books but also some ornamental objects worth some money) that Luther realizes he hasn’t told Dad about Klaus breaking in. He’s surprised no one had asked about the broken window, but his habit of riding a bike inside does get blamed whenever something breaks so that might explain what Pogo and his Dad thought had happened. It had just never occurred to Luther to mention Klaus’s visit to anyone, even though his Dad would probably want to know.

 

Luther thinks about it some more and decides that it’s best if he doesn’t say anything. Klaus would probably be happier if Dad doesn’t know, and if the stuff he took wasn’t important then that doesn’t matter either.

 

(And maybe – maybe if he doesn’t say anything and Klaus comes back he’ll stay for longer if Dad isn’t shouting at him about stealing things from the house.)

* * *

 

2019 – AGE 29 YEARS

 

Being on Earth again is strange. Luther’s missed it so much, but he missed it from afar and the reality is more chaotic than he’d remembered. He tries not to let this show though, since being around his siblings again with Dad dead has him wrong-footed enough without letting them know how much he misses the way things where simple on the Moon.

 

Just look at the way he handles trying to talk to everyone about Dad’s death. It’s not that he really thinks any of them killed Dad – not deliberately at least cause he could maybe see Diego getting angry and throwing something without realizing the danger he can do (Like when they’re children and Diego had knocked Ben out with an angrily thrown baseball). But there’s still something suspicious about the situation and he just wishes he could get his siblings on his side. Of course the last time Luther was able to do that was before they all entered puberty, so he really shouldn’t be surprised at how the conversation ends with everyone storming off.

 

Klaus is especially louder than Luther remembered, and he remembers Klaus being the loudest already so that’s saying something. It puts Luther’s teeth on edge and he’d felt immediately annoyed when he’d seen Klaus sitting in Dad’s chair. The last time Klaus had visited the house he’d left with items stuffed in his pockets (Luther had never mentioned his visit, he knows Pogo and Dad both know who’s to blame for the thefts but it’s easier not to say anything) and this time Luther stops him and demands that he drop everything. When Klaus complies Luther can’t help but wonder how surprised Klaus would be if he found out Luther had never said a word about his visit.

 

Later he overhears Klaus talking to Dad’s urn, urging him to appear in such a typical Klaus manner that Luther is surprised Dad doesn’t appear just to scold him. Klaus tries for a while and once Luther is certain it’s not going to work he heads to his room – wanting to look through the stuff he hasn’t seen since he left for the moon. (Luther’s record collection is still one of his most prized possessions, he has happy memories of all of them listening to music and dancing away during designated recreation times. Music and dancing always helped them feel connected to each other and Luther misses the simple happiness they all felt when they’d been dancing around his room.)

 

Klaus continues to be loud and annoying all through Five reappearing, Dad’s funeral and Luther’s fight with Diego and Luther quickly gets used to treating Klaus like background noise. It makes him feel like they’re all fourteen again. Only this time Five is there and Ben isn’t.

 

Then Klaus disappears again and Luther does notice when he goes missing (Dad always told him about the importance of knowing where your team members are) but he even with all the fighting going on that doesn’t make Luther think ‘kidnapping’. Instead he assumes that the fighting freaked Klaus out and he’s disappeared to wherever it is he lives in the city until the fighting stops.

 

And then Klaus reappears with Diego in the most ridiculous (most bad-ass) and confusing battlefield entrance and Luther wants to laugh despite the serious situation. He remembers Klaus laughing during so many missions and Luther’s never quite understood that urge until now. Though he’s mature enough that he doesn’t give into it. When it all starts going wrong, with Five disappearing Klaus helps Luther get Diego to the car, Luther is surprised by how calm Klaus keeps despite the chaos.

 

Having everyone together again with a common goal, stopping the end of the world like Dad had always said they would is exciting. (Even if Luther regrets how hurt Vanya looks at being left out – but she shouldn’t be surprised, she was never part of the missions). It’d be a lot better if the end of the world wasn’t so confusing, with every answer Five gives them only raising more questions. In the face of all this finding out that Dad lied to him and sent him to the Moon for no reason destroys Luther.

 

When Klaus appears as he’s sitting there drunk, Luther thinks that for the first time he can almost understand why Klaus is the way he is. Luther certainly feels the urge to forget about everything to do with their Dad, their family and his life right now – if that’s how Klaus has felt since they were kids then Luther can’t really blame him for the way he acts. Or maybe he just understands Klaus now because he’s not sober, the thought hits him and Luther desperately wants to try whatever it is Klaus does that keeps him always happy and laughing. Klaus refusing to help him makes Luther angry, and he storms from the room decision to try drugs now fueled by stubbornness as well as sadness.

 

The next thing he knows Klaus is ringing a bell in the hallway and his mouth tastes like something died in it. This combined with the naked girl he doesn’t know in his bed has Luther feeling like he needs to throw up. Luther has no idea how Klaus made it through so many training sessions and missions when they were younger, if this is anything like he felt after drinking and doing everything else he’d do. He can’t help but respect his brother a little more, even if he know thinks Klaus is even crazier for doing this kind of thing to his body.

 

As he showers, dresses and lets the girl out of the house Luther tells himself he’s never going to drink again. This resolution doesn’t last in the face of Klaus and Pogo’s revelations about Dad’s death and the reminder that Dad was lying to him for years.

 

Some how things manage to get even worse. Luther’s not sure how any of them survive the chaos their lives devolve into over the next day. Allison’s throat is slit by Vanya, the house falls apart, Pogo and Grace are dead and Luther has no idea what to do any more.

 

He doesn’t want to be the leader, not when he makes so many bad decisions trying to find the right thing to do. Diego’s not wrong, Luther’s never been good at planning – he was only ever good at listening to Dad and look where that’s gotten him in life. Seeing Ben again, seeing him standing in front of Klaus both of them glowing blue is just another reminder that he’s been wrong about so many things. Despite this Luther is prepared to kill Vanya to save the world, and prepared to be the leader if it means his siblings don’t have be the ones to make that call.

 

The world ends anyway and when Five decides to jump all of them through time Luther plays devil’s advocate in suggesting they leave behind Vanya, but when his siblings all shoot down his idea Luther doesn’t try to argue. (Look where his leadership has gotten them, his siblings are right to question his ideas and Luther wonders if he should just do the opposite of what his instincts are from now on). He holds Vanya tightly in his arms as they stand in a circle.

 

And then everything goes bright.

* * *

 

2001 – AGE 12 YEARS (AGAIN)

 

Klaus was always the look-out and the distraction, so it makes sense to send him to distract Dad when they overhear Pogo saying that Vanya should wake up soon. Luther doesn’t order Klaus to do it (he’s trying not to order anyone to do anything) but the others all agree that it makes the most sense.

 

Vanya and Klaus have never been close, it’s important that Ben and Five are there since Vanya probably hates them the least while Diego, Allison and Luther all want to apologize for the way they’ve treated their sister. Klaus is the odd one out so they send him to keep Dad away while Vanya wakes. Luther is so focused on how small Vanya looks as she starts to stir that he doesn’t really take in the noise of smashing bottles and shouting that echoes through the house, he only thinks that Klaus must be doing his best to keep Dad occupied.

 

Later once Vanya is calm and they’ve explained the situation to her, the plan to save the world sounding less and less like a plan to save the world and more a plan to save their sister, Luther leaves the room. He feels awkward around her right now, every time he looks in her face he remembers how he’d been prepared to kill her if it meant keeping everyone else alive.

 

He stands awkwardly in the hallway, unsure what to do now that Vanya is awake and the reality of being twelve years old again in the past is sinking in. Footsteps catch his attention and Luther looks up to see Klaus stumbling towards him.

 

“Hey – everything go okay?” Klaus asks, leaning a little to close to him. Luther recoils at the scent of alcohol and vomit on Klaus’s breath and it occurs to him that Klaus’s brief foray into sobriety is already over.

 

“I – I don’t know.” Luther admits, “Right now things seem okay but only time will tell.”

 

Klaus hums, leaning against the wall like it’s hard for him to keep his body upright. Luther’s seen his brother this fucked up before, probably more fucked up before, but there’s a strange dissonance in seeing Klaus like this while his body is still a kids.

 

“Are you okay?” Luther asks and Klaus grins up at him.  
  
“Oh I’m just peachy.” Klaus waves a hand at Luther, “Second chances and all that. Second chances to make my way through Dad’s liquor cabinet. Second chances to disappoint the old man.” Klaus trails off.

 

Luther wants to ask again, but he’s pretty sure Klaus would just give the same response. Klaus has never been very direct when it comes to answering his questions. They stand there in silence for a moment and then Klaus shrugs, spinning on his feet and stumbling into his room. His bedroom door slams shut behind him. It’s not until Luther looks down and sees the trail of bloody footprints his brother has left in the hallway that he realizes Klaus’s stumbling wasn’t just the result of drunkenness.

 

He doesn’t have time to consider what this means before the Vanya’s bedroom door opens and Five appears, gesturing for Luther to come in. It’s surprisingly easy to let Five lead them, now that they all look like children Luther doesn’t feel the same reluctance to let Five come up with a plan as he did before.

 

They keep things simple, divide spending time with Vanya between all of them. Five says it’s important that they bond as a group and also as individuals. Luther and Diego have similar roles in the plan, to get their bodies ready to fight if the worst happens and to distract Dad during group training sessions. At night they all gather together and work on training Vanya to control her powers, and if sometimes Klaus doesn’t show up – well Luther’s not sure if he’s involved in some part of the plan that he doesn’t know about. He could ask, but for the first time since he got back from the Moon everything is simple again and he just wants to focus on his part of the plan.

 

Weeks go by and they all adjust to being children again. Luther even manages a tentative friendship with Vanya, asking her questions about music and instruments since a love of music is the only thing they’ve ever had in common. Most of Luther’s time is taken up with training (and now that he and Diego aren’t constantly arguing it’s easier to see how well they compliment each other in a fight). When he’s not training Luther spends a lot of time with Allison – and it’s so similar to when they children the first time and also so different. They talk about different things this time around and Luther tries to help Allison through the loss of her daughter, who’s not really dead but also doesn’t exist yet.

 

The only one of them who seems unchanged is Klaus, and Luther tries not let his disappointment show at how Klaus is spending all his time drunk and high. It’s not worth being disappointed about since they all went through that stage years ago, they’re all used to this now even if their bodies are younger.

 

It’s not until he enters the bathroom early one morning and finds Klaus asleep in the tub that Luther wonders if Klaus constant state of fucked up is even more fucked up than normal. Luther snaps his fingers in front of Klaus’s face but his brother doesn’t stir.

 

“Klaus.” Luther says and then repeats again louder. He doesn’t want to leave Klaus asleep in the tub, where it would be so easy for his brother to slip under the water and drown. “Klaus.”

 

His brother’s eyes finally flutter open and Luther waits for Klaus to focus on him before asking “Are you okay?”  
  
Klaus licks his lips and looks around the room like he’s confused, and Luther wonders how high Klaus had been last night. Clearly high enough that he doesn’t remember running a bath and falling asleep in the water.

 

“M’fine.” Klaus mumbles just before Luther asks him again. Klaus shifts and the movement makes the water rock against the side of the bath. It’s faint but Luther can see a cloud of blood moving in the water, disturbed by Klaus’s movements and the sight of it makes Luther feel cold.

 

“Why are you bleeding?” Luther asks, keeping his voice calm. He can see the way Klaus looks at the water, sees some sort of recognition in his brother’s eyes like he’s remembering the night before – but the pause before Klaus answers is long enough that Luther knows his brother is making something up.

 

“I decided to get a head start on shaving my balls. Need to keep them smooth and pretty, must have slipped. Oops clumsy Klaus.” Klaus tilts his head back on the rim of the bathtub, looking up at Luther with a blank expression as he asks “Why, do you want to see them?”

 

Luther can’t stop the frustrated noise that leaves him and the smile it prompts on Klaus’s face leaves him feeling even more frustrated. He knows he’s not going to get any clear or honest answers out of Klaus right now, and however stubborn Luther is he’s not willing to keep trying this early in the morning. He turns, leaving Klaus to soak in the cold water filled tub.

 

He’s not giving up entirely though, and Luther decides on a plan of action. One of the smartest plans he’s ever made.

 

Luther goes to talk to Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. Again this hasn't been edited yet so issues with the past/present tense and any grammar/spelling mistakes are to be expected. I'm writing fast guys, not necessarily writing neat.


	3. Allison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of the time Allison likes Klaus, but he can be really annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but it was done and sitting there and I decided I might as well post it. I'm trying to get as much of this fic out as fast as I can before either life gets in the way or I hit writer's block. 
> 
> For this chapter - well I feel like Allison and Klaus get along pretty well, but that Klaus would probably be able to annoy Allison the most out of all the siblings. They're both dramatic people, and Allison clearly matured a lot as an adult, considering how she acts when the family is back together. 
> 
> (Also warning for references to both underage sex and incest in this chapter. yay)

ALLISON

 

1995 – AGE 7 YEARS

 

Number Three is pretty sure Number Four has been eating sugar in the kitchens again. She’s caught him shoving a spoon in the sugar bag before and he’d been extra annoying that day, bouncing off the walls and shouting even more than normal. Three had told him to stop it, cause it was really gross but that only made Four laugh and he’d run out of the kitchens laughing before she could make him stop.

 

He’s bouncing up and down again just like that day, refusing to go to bed. Now it’s late and all of them are tired and they can’t sleep because Four keeps running up and down the hallway, singing at the top of his lungs. Even Dad telling him to go to bed hasn’t had any affect.  
  
Three wraps her pillow around her head, wishing that Four would at least go in his room since then she wouldn’t have to listen to him. Noises bounce around the house but for some reason Four’s room keeps sounds inside it’s walls. Three thinks Four’s decision must be deliberate then, he must want to keep them all awake.

 

She hears Six asking Four to shut up, and in response Four’s singing gets even louder. He’s half way through ‘99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall’ by this point, and that’s after spending an hour singing the ‘Song that Never Ends’. Three’s not sure how much longer Four can keep this going before his voice gives out.

 

With a groan Three throws her pillow to the foot of her bed. She gets up, stomping across her bedroom to open the door. Four is at the other end of the hallway but she sees him spin in place and come running up towards her and Luther’s rooms. Three can see Six and Two, both looking out of their rooms at Four, bleary eyed with tiredness.

 

“Four. I heard a rumour...” Three shouts out. “I heard a rumour that you’re going to go in your room and be quiet.”

 

Four freezes in place and he looks at her with wide eyes and for a moment Three thinks Four is going to start crying. Which doesn’t make any sense cause if anyone should be crying it’s her, because Four is being so annoying and she’s so tired after all their training. Four doesn’t cry though, he spins in place again and walks to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

 

Two and Six both disappear into their own rooms again, Two mouthing ‘thanks’ at Three as he closes the door. Three stands in her doorway for a while longer, just to make sure that Four doesn’t come back out again and start it all over. (She’s not sure how to phrase her suggestions yet, isn’t quite sure what the limitations of her powers are.)

 

Four doesn’t reappear though and the house remains quiet, so Three goes back to bed. She moves the pillow back into place and soon as she’s laying down she falls asleep. She wakes up feeling well rested, happy that her command had worked and Four hadn’t kept them up all night.

 

At breakfast Three pretends she doesn’t feel a twinge of guilt when she looks at Four’s face and sees the dark circles around his eyes and the way he looks like he’s been crying all night. Her other siblings all look well rested and it’s better that some of them got to sleep even if Four hadn’t.

(It worked so well that Dad has her do it every night for a week, until Four starts to go to bed quietly on his own. They’re all more alert without Four disturbing bedtime.)

* * *

 

 

2001 – AGE 11 – 12 YEARS

 

Klaus bursts into her bedroom in a tangle of limbs and chaos. Allison looks up and waits to see if Ben is going to follow him in, or maybe Diego chasing after him in response to whatever mischief Klaus is up to.

 

No one else appears though, it’s just Klaus standing in her bedroom, grinning his too bright grin at her.

 

“What?” Allison asks – no demands, she’s working on being a more commanding presence. She has to demand respect and people’s notice if she wants to be an actress one day.

 

Klaus’s grin falters for a moment and his expression turns nervous. It makes Allison uncomfortable and she worries for a moment that Klaus is going to ask for her help in deceiving Dad. (‘But – but couldn’t you just make Dad love us?’)

 

“Your nails look really pretty today.” Klaus says.

 

“Thanks.” Allison smiles, happy that someone has noticed even if it’s just Klaus and not Luther.

 

“Can you paint mine?” Klaus asks and then in the silence that follows the question he adds “I like the sparkles.”

 

Allison looks down at her nails, at the shimmering, glittery pink polish it had taken her so long to put on neat. She bought a collection of nail colours after reading an article in a magazine about popular colors this season.

 

For a moment Allison considers saying no, after all it’s her polish and she paid for it with her allowance. But then she looks up again and sees the hesitant, hopeful look in Klaus’s eyes and how still he’s standing – like whatever she says next is the most important thing he’ll ever hear.

 

“Sure. You have to sit really still though, otherwise it gets everywhere.” Allison says, adding in a conspiratorial tone “Mom had to change my sheets cause I knocked over the bottle.”

 

Klaus manages to sit still as Allison does his nails and he looks so pleased that Allison tells him to take his shoes off as well so they can paint their toenails together. It’s strange because they don’t normally spend time together one on one, but Allison is finding she likes this version of Klaus that’s sitting still, talking about colors he likes and asking if she has any others.

  
It reminds Allison of scenes from TV shows were two sisters will sit in and talk about boys and fashion. She wishes she had a sister like that (she likes Vanya it’s just Vanya is so quiet and never seems interested in make-up or dresses) but if the closest she can get is Klaus then she’ll take it.

 

Allison and Klaus are best friends for over a month – though Allison still spends a lot of time with Luther and Klaus spends a lot of time with Diego and Ben. But at night Klaus will sneak into her bedroom and they’ll paint their nails or practice using the make-up Allison buys with her allowance. Allison lets Klaus borrow her clothes when they’re playing and they even have a mini-fashion show (the only audience member is Luther, who seems confused at Klaus wearing one of Allison’s dresses but who still applauds and tells both of them they look really pretty).

 

But Allison forgets how annoying Klaus can be. It starts with him borrowing bottles of her nail polish, wanting to apply it on his own now that he’s good at it – which doesn’t bother her. What bothers her is the fact Klaus never gives the bottles back and she can’t figure out where he hides them. She checks his room multiple times when Klaus is stuck in one on one training sessions with Dad, but he’s good at hiding the things he steals and she never finds them.

 

Then Klaus borrows one of her nice dresses (the sleeves are made of a sheer material that sparkles in the light, with the rest of it a dark purple colour and Allison feels like a movie star every time she wears it, even if she has no where to go in it) and when he returns it the dress smells of smoke and alcohol and Allison finds a burn mark on one sleeve. Allison tells Klaus he can’t borrow any more of her clothes. She smothers the guilt she feels at Klaus’s expression, because it’s not fair for Klaus to take her things and ruin them and she knows he’ll do it again if she lets him. Klaus just isn’t careful enough.

 

He seems to get over it though, cause he doesn’t ask again and Allison wonders if Klaus isn’t interested in dressing up any more. She does kind of miss playing with him, it was nice while it lasted and she’s almost thinking about asking him to dress up with her again – maybe if she watches him while he’s wearing her stuff he won’t have the chance to ruin it.

 

But then Klaus borrows a pair of Grace’s heels and he goes crashing down the staircase, breaking his jaw as well as Grace’s shoes. Their Dad seems really angry about it and Allison can hear him shouting at Klaus for being careless even as Grace patches Klaus up. Any sympathy she feels dies when Dad bans them all from wearing heels and throws away the pair of shoes Allison had bought with a few months worth of allowance. (Silver clasps, a slight heel, delicate flower patterns on the side and they make Allison feel so grown up when she wears them around her bedroom.)

 

Allison cries and begs her Dad not to throw them out but he does it anyway, declaring heels to be an unnecessary risk if they’re going to insist on running down the stairs (which Allison has never done). When she sees Klaus later, his jaw wired shut now and bruises down his face Allison feels angry at him. Somehow he always manages to ruin things for everyone.

* * *

 

2005 – AGE 15 YEARS

 

Allison gets invited to parties all the time. Normally she’s not interested in going but this is the biggest one she’s ever been invited to – it’s an album launch for a famous band and normally the parties they go to as a family are boring (they’re not real parties, they’re more like gatherings of rich, boring, old people who talk at them and not too them and tell them how amazing their Dad is). Most of the invites Allison gets are from fans, people sending her invites through fanmail or fans calling out invitations to her on the street.

 

But this is the first industry event Allison has ever been invited to. (She reads about industry events, about how important networking is in the entertainment industry and she’s already thinking about how she’ll transition from super hero to star one day). She thinks about asking Luther to go with her (she already knows Dad will let her go, as long as she promises to talk about the Academy to any reporters there – publicity is almost always a good thing) but it would be mean to put Luther in a room full of famous people partying and expect him to have a good time. No, the only one of her siblings that Allison knows will enjoy themselves is Klaus.

 

It helps that they’ve been closer again lately – Dad lifting his ban on high heels probably has something to do with it. Klaus has taken to sneaking into her room again at night, bringing with him bottles of wine that they share sips from (he always drinks a lot more than Allison does but she likes how mature the wine makes her feel) and they talk about which actors in Allison’s magazines look the hottest.

 

Klaus looks thrilled when she asks him and Allison’s so pleased at his happiness that she pulls Klaus into an unexpected hug. Klaus just hugs her back and then he bounces on his feet until she’s doing the same, both of them hugging and dancing around her bedroom in excitement.

 

When the day of the party arrives they hole up in Allison’s room, picking their outfits and painting their nails. Allison tries to dress grown up, pretty but professional but Klaus – Allison is pretty sure Klaus just picks items at random. A pair of tight black pants and a shirt Allison is pretty sure used to belong to her until she outgrew it (black with a purple butterfly made of sequins on the front), which on Klaus ends just above his belly button and pulls tight at his shoulders. Allison has to admit Klaus makes the outfit work somehow, despite it not being like any red carpet look Allison has ever seen. She’s jealous of Klaus’s confidence even though she knows it’s mostly a way he armors himself against the world.

 

They’re photographed by paparazzi outside the club. Klaus throws an arm around her shoulder and blows kisses towards the camera and Allison should try to look dignified and grown up but Klaus’s actions has throwing her head back in laughter. She feels giddy with excitement as they enter the party. It doesn’t take long for her to realize her and Klaus are two of the youngest people there, and it makes her feel even more flattered to have been invited.

 

Klaus starts to split off from her and Allison grabs at his hand, nervous at the thought of being alone in the crowd.

 

“I’m just going to get a drink. I’ll be right back.” Klaus says, squeezing her hand and Allison squeezes back.

 

“Okay, don’t leave me alone all night though.” Allison replies and Klaus lets go of her hand so he can he rest both of his hands on her shoulders.

 

Klaus looks at her with a more serious expression than she’s seen on his face in a long time and says “Hey, don’t worry. This is where you belong, Miss Future Super Star.”

 

Allison takes a deep breath and nods, standing up straighter as she composes herself and Klaus breaks away, disappearing into the crowd inside the nightclub. The more she’s able to be seen in photos with the rich and famous or give quotes to the reporters about the good the academy does, the more likely it is Dad will let her go to more parties like this. Allison wants to be part of this world so badly (even if she’s suddenly overwhelmed at being alone in it) and if that means indulging Dad’s desire for good publicity then she’ll do it.

 

Allison uses her talent like a party trick, entertaining everyone with charming little commands and innocent rumors (she likes it so much better when she’s getting someone to do a silly pose for the paparazzi than when she’s telling someone to shoot their friends). She’s being photographed with all the right people and even talking to talent agent – who hands her a business card and it’s all going perfectly so of course that’s when it all goes wrong.

 

It starts slow. A commotion across the club from some dingy, unlit corner, Allison can see the way information spreads. Reporters and paparazzi spread across the club, heading to source of the noise and the crowd follows, all of them eager to see what scandal is no doubt unfolding. She hears whispers about the lead guitarist being caught in a compromising position. Allison feels a slight thrill at the prospect of being witness to a real life celebrity getting caught doing something wrong.

 

It’s not until she talks her way to the front of the crowd (quiet murmurs of ‘I heard a rumor you’ll let me past’ in ears so she can get her way) that Allison’s excitement disappears. In front of the all the flashing camera lights, half undressed with a glazed but panicked expression on his face is Klaus. The lead guitarist has already fled, leaving Klaus to face down the reporters and paparazzi on his own, blinking at the bright flash photography and trying to button his pants back up.

 

Allison looks at her brother. She could intervene but she doubts she can rumor this many people at once over all the people shouting questions at Klaus. She doesn’t even want to because Klaus deserves to face the consequences of his actions. Allison watches as Klaus starts to laugh, holding a hand over his mouth as a manic gleam comes into his eyes and she feels so angry at how Klaus isn’t taking this seriously.

 

That’s one of Klaus’s problems, she thinks as she turns and heads for the exit of the nightclub – wanting to get away before any of the paparazzi can notice her and start asking her questions. He just doesn’t think about how his actions are going to impact others. (He promised he was just getting a drink – he was going to be right back and keep her company. They would have taken everyone by storm.)

 

Any news about the party and the album drop, the photos of who’d been there and who’d been seen talking to whom – it’s all overshadowed by news of the sex scandal. All the entertainment magazines are talking about Klaus getting caught high and hooking up with lead guitarist. Whenever there’s a photo of Allison it’s the one of her and Klaus as they both arrived, smiling and happy and shown in contrast to Klaus look disheveled and laughing, with his pants pushed down around his thighs. It inspires people to start debating about the academy on TV – brings out the experts and panelists that bad news about them always does, the ones who condemn her and her brothers, condemn the academy and everything they’re trying to do. It inspires Dad’s anger and his attention (not just on Klaus but on all of them – like any of them would act like Klaus does).

 

Allison’s cutting the articles from the magazines she’s bought, scrunching up the photos of Klaus in disgust. (Nothing is quite as disgusting as the comments Allison sees online about her brother, scrolling through gossip blogs but there’s nothing she can do about the comments people make and at least crumpling the photos makes her feel better.)

 

There’s a knock at her bedroom door and Allison looks up to the door open and Klaus stick his head in her room. He looks tired and Allison isn’t surprised since Dad has had him training at all hours to punish him for making the academy look bad. Allison pushes down any sympathy the exhaustion on Klaus face causes in her and asks “What?”.

 

Klaus winces at her tone and looks down at the floor as he talks. “I just wanted to say sorry. About everything.”

 

“Right. Well it’s my fault for taking you, I mean what did I expect to happen.” Allison says, pushing herself up to sit on the bed, letting the magazine slide from her grip.

 

“What – what’s that supposed to mean?” Klaus is looking at her now, as slight frown making his eyebrows bunch together.

 

“That I shouldn’t be surprised that you looked around the party and thought, jeez this is a great time and place to loose my virginity.” She rolls her eyes, imitating Klaus’s high pitched voice as she talks.

 

“I mean -” She can see Klaus’s lips lift in a smirk as he starts talking, “- I’m not really a virgin, so your impersonation is already flawed.” The way he’s already joking about it like it doesn’t matter brings back her annoyance at his attitude.

 

“You’re disgusting. You know that, right?” Allison says, letting real disgust color her tone and wrinkling her nose up as she looks Klaus up and down. The smirk falls from his face and Klaus’s mouth opens and closes a few times like he’s really hurt by what she said (which isn’t anywhere near as bad as what people are saying about him online, he should be used to it) and then he says;

 

“I’m disgusting? I’m not the one panting after one of our brothers. Hey, why not kill two birds with one stone – rumor Luther into making a sex tape with you and then you can release it and become famous. I’m sure your precious magazines will be nicer about the incest than my little mistake the other night, since I’m the disgusting one and you’re just the one who wants to suck her brothers’ dick.” Klaus is physically by the time his outburst is over.

 

Allison just stares at him, feeling how still her own body is with rage. Her vision goes hot and blurry, tears building behind her eyes and there’s a hot, sharp sensation in her stomach. Allison opens her mouth and she sees Klaus flinch back, as she shouts “Get out! Get out! Get out!”

 

She hears Luther’s heavy footsteps as he comes running from another room, and Klaus barely slips out her room before Luther is appearing in the door way.  
  
“What’s wrong? Did Klaus do something?” Luther asks, glancing back at the hallway where he’d pushed past Klaus.

 

Allison starts crying and Luther sits next to her, patting her back as she sobs and explains what Klaus had said. She doesn’t quite explain all of it, just the gist of Klaus saying something mean – but she thinks Luther can fill in the blanks, because he goes red in embarrassment even as he starts to frown.

 

And as it always goes Luther hits Klaus harder than normal in the next training session. Not enough to break anything but sending Klaus tumbling to the floor holding at his ribs, like he does every time Klaus upsets her somehow. The sight of Klaus sprawled out on the gym mats shouldn’t make Allison feel good, her heart feels lighter at the confirmation that someone cares.

* * *

 

2007 – AGE 17 YEARS

 

Allison catches Klaus sneaking out of the house as she sneaks back in. They both pause awkwardly on the fire escape, Klaus half way out of the window with a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and Allison with a heels clutched in her hand to stop the noise of her footsteps on the metal platform.

 

“Hey.” Allison says, moving to the side so Klaus can finish climbing out of the window. “Are you going out for the night?”

 

Klaus goes out most nights now and everyone pretends it isn’t happening, Dad even ignores it for the most part but then Allison’s not sure he’s even said anything to Klaus since Ben died.

 

“More than just the night, sis. I’m leaving.” Klaus says, flashing a grin at her and pulling a slightly crushed cigarette from his pocket. He lights up, looking up at the sky as inhales and then exhales smoke.

 

Allison stands there, not sure what to say. It’s not a surprise that Klaus wants to leave but she wasn’t expecting this kind of exit from him. She always thought Klaus would be the one who’d snap one day and shout at Dad before storming out of the house. She never thought the reality would be this – a tired looking Klaus leaving without saying a word.

 

It occurs to her that if she was later coming home then she wouldn’t have caught Klaus, she probably wouldn’t have realized he was gone for days. Allison can’t remember the last time she hung out with Klaus (though honestly she barely hangs out with any of them these days – not even Luther), they’d been growing apart from each other for such a long time. Klaus could have been gone a week and Allison’s not sure she would have noticed but she’s not sure anyone else would have either.

 

“Forever?” Allison asks and Klaus nods. He gives her a sad sort of smile and looks away again. Allison’s grateful he’s still looking at the sky, because otherwise he might notice the tears collecting in her eyes.

 

“Yeah. Figured I’d get a head start on the rest of you. We wait around here any longer and more of us will be gone – it won’t just be Five and Ben.” Klaus’s voice is so quiet, soft and gentle.

 

“Have you – I know you said you hadn’t seen him when we were younger, but have did you ever see Five at all over the years?” Allison asks.

 

Klaus shakes his head, looking back down and his eyes glance to his left then back at her face so quickly Allison isn’t sure if she imagined him looking or not. “Nah, I never saw Five.” Klaus says.

 

Allison nods and sits next to Klaus on the window sill. Klaus shuffles over to make room for her and holds the cigarette out. Allison takes it after a moments hesitation, she brings it to her lips and exhales. She’s okay for a moment and then the smoke catches at her lungs, it burns at the back of her throat and Allison’s eyes start watering from more than just tears. Klaus laughs as she coughs, and rubs a hand against her back as she catches her breath. Once the coughing is done Allison brings the cigarette back up to her lips, inhaling slower this time and letting the smoke drift from her mouth.

 

“You make that look good you know? All classy.” Klaus tells her. “Must be the lipstick. I really like that shade on you.” She’s sitting there with her brother, for what might be the last time and he’s making small talk like it’s any other day.

 

Allison wants to ask Klaus to stay. But he’s not wrong about how they need to leave, even if Luther hasn’t listened to her about how they need to grow up and move out and give up on Dad’s dream of them saving the world. She’d been out today meeting with a talent agency that has managers on the West Coast. She snuck out to plan her future, organizing an escape route for when she leaves the academy so that she can fulfill her childhood dreams. Allison can’t blame Klaus for making his own plans – she just wishes he had plans and wasn’t just running out into the night.

 

“You’re going to do great, you know?” Klaus continues, tone a little serious and sad. “If any of us has a chance to succeed it’s you. Allison Hargreeves, the only one of us with any ambitions or dreams.” He takes the cigarette back from her and takes one last puff, before putting it out on the window sill and letting the ashes float through the air.

 

Klaus stands and adjusts the duffle bag on his back. He gives her a smile and awkwardly waves, turning to go climb down the escape.

 

“Wait.” Allison says, and Klaus pauses, looking over his shoulder at her with a raised eyebrow. Allison’s not sure what she’s planning to say, there’s no words that seem right and saying goodbye would just feel cheap and to much like an ending. “Here.” She fumbles with her handbag and pulls out the tube of lipstick that she’d bought new right after arranging the meeting with the talent agency. She holds the lipstick out to Klaus saying “I think this shade will suit you to.”

 

Klaus lets out a laugh at the comment, and he turns to reach out, clasping her hand for a moment before taking the lipstick from her and sticking it in the pocket he’d pulled the cigarette from.  
  
“Thanks. I’d put it on now but I don’t want to make you jealous over how good I’ll look.” Klaus says and Allison laughs to hide the fact she feels like crying.

 

Klaus waves at her again, turning again and starting his descent down the ladder. Allison could call out to him, but instead she just watches him leave. Klaus walks down the alleyway and disappears around the corner. He doesn’t look back and Allison knows she won’t look back when she leaves either. 

* * *

 

2011-2012 – AGE 22-23 YEARS

 

It’s paparazzi and reporters who break the news to her. Allison’s walking down the red carpet, feeling like she’s on top of the world. She’s finally where she’s wanted to be since she was a child and maybe she’s talked her way there (rumored over all the problems and snags in her rise to fame) but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve it. She just has an advantage and anyone in her position would use it if they could.

 

She’s posing for a photo, smiling out at the sea of cameras and flashing lights on the other side of the rope and then someone in the crowd is shouting out;

 

“Allison! Allison! Have you heard about your brother’s arrest?”

 

Once there’s one shout the rest of the reports pick up on it and start shouting out there own questions. Demanding to know if she’s spoken to Klaus recently, spoken to any of her brothers, asking her how she feels about Klaus being arrested – as though she isn’t just hearing about it now from them. There’s no time for her to form any sort of opinion, to feel any sort of emotion with everyone shouting at her.

 

Allison keeps smiling and walking the red carpet, ignoring all the questions and refusing to comment. She’s lucky that she’d already done all of the press interviews for the night, she has no other commitments that she has to fulfill for her contract. The rest of the night passes in a blur and Allison keeps smiling. The movie premieres in front of a packed theater and Allison might as well not be watching it for all the attention she’s paying it.

 

Instead Allison is on her phone, scrawling through news and gossip site. It doesn’t take her long to find the news of Klaus’s arrest – the list of scandalous offences that every site is all to happy to report. Drugs, theft and all the photos of Klaus, arms handcuffed behind his back being lead out of a nightclub by the police, grinning for the cameras. Allison knows her brother would be blowing kisses if his hands weren’t secured.

 

Allison’s annoyance grows over the next few days, as the paparazzi that regularly follow her about continue to shout questions about Klaus. It makes the questions she normally gets about who she’s been seen with and if she’s dating anyone seem pleasant in comparison, even though normally the questions seem invasive and make her vaguely uncomfortable. Allison continues to refuse to comment, she makes sure to not even say Klaus’s name in public regardless of who she’s talking to.

 

Eventually the questions stop. The news cycle looses interest in Klaus’s story just before he’s due in court. There’s always some other celebrity doing something stupid, and despite his connection to her Klaus on his own is just some washed up child star, the least popular of the Umbrella Academy team.

 

A few days before Klaus’s court date Allison finds herself alone in her apartment. She’s drinking wine, painting her nails, taking a break from her fame to relax. Maybe it’s the wine or the scent of nail polish but Allison can’t help but reminisce. Their childhood might have been shitty, but there are still aspects she misses (her siblings, she misses all of them so much, she wishes they could just sit and talk one day but it feels like it’ll never happen). It’s nostalgia that causes her to pick up the phone.  
  
It takes a lot of calls, a lot of rumors in the right peoples ears but eventually Allison gets the right person on the phone and without a moment of hesitation she says;

 

“I heard a rumor that you think Klaus Hargreeves should go to rehab, not prison.”

She hangs up as soon as she says this, not wanting to complicate the situation or rumor any more (she’s learnt that sometimes people will ask follow up questions and that things will become confused if she has to elaborate to much – it’s simpler to be straight forward and not leave anything to interpretation).

  
Allison tells herself she made the call because it’s less embarrassing for her to have a brother in rehab than it is to have a brother in jail. It’s not that some part of her hopes that maybe rehab will help Klaus in a way that her and her siblings were never able to with so many years of not talking about their problems behind them.

 

A little over a year later Allison hears about Klaus’s latest arrest. It’s the same basic charges as before and this time she isn’t home alone – she has a fiance, she has a love life and a future full of so many bright, unbroken things and Klaus is just one of the bright, broken things from her past. She doesn’t make any calls this time. Allison looks at the invitations she’d written and picks up Klaus’s. She throws it away, because there’s no way Klaus will be able to attend her wedding now.

 

(Maybe jail time will do what rehab didn’t and Klaus will come out clean. Maybe facing the consequences of his actions will do more than Allison trying to help him will. Maybe once he’s out he will be able to visit her, meet her husband and be a part of Allison’s life. But Allison isn’t going to hold out hope.)

* * *

 

2019 – AGE 29 YEARS

 

Klaus’s entire outfit is both ridiculous and entirely Klaus – Allison fights the urge to tell him looks the result of Tim Burton directing a movie about prostitutes, mostly because she feels Klaus would take it as a compliment. The rehab bracelet does catch her eye and it shouldn’t still be disappointing that Klaus is high, he’s been in and out of rehab, in and out of jail and it’s clear nothing is going to help him. (But Allison still feels sad, watching her bright, broken brother stumble around this big empty house, full of more than just the type of ghosts Klaus used to see.)

 

When she notices that Klaus is wearing her skirt Allison feels like a kid again and it’s almost comforting to see that Klaus isn’t any more aware of boundaries than he was when he used to borrow clothes from her without asking. It might have pissed her off than (and okay, a little bit now) but at the same time she prefers seeing him in one of her skirts – especially if the only other option is those leather pants that practically scream ‘I’M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR’.

 

After Luther bumbles his way through murder accusations, that Allison knows he didn’t mean (being on the moon for four years clearly hasn’t improved Luther’s already poor social skills) Allison watches Klaus clap Diego on the shoulder. She laughs as Klaus loudly declares;  
  
“You know, it’s nice to see that someone else in this family has a leather fetish.”

 

Allison laughs and laughs, watching Diego frown in embarrassment and Klaus grin his shit eating grin. They all might be more than a little broken, but they all shine so much brighter when they’re together. Her laughter dies, the sudden surge of warmth and affection she’s feeling at being around her siblings again fades out to a coldness as she thinks about how much she misses her daughter.

The love she feels for her siblings isn’t quite enough to soothe the hurt of how much she loves Claire and how much she aches at every moment she spends away from her daughter. Sitting alone in her room again Allison vows to herself that she’ll do every thing she can to see her daughter again, attend all the counselling sessions she needs to in order to hold her daughter in her arms again (surely Patrick will understand her missing just one of them – her Dad’s death has to be extenuating circumstances).

 

The phone call she makes to Patrick just brings back every bit of guilt Allison has ever felt over what she did to Claire (it’s just using the advantage she was born with – anyone would do the same but it always feels like cheating). Vanya’s attempts to clumsy attempts to comfort her just make Allison feel worse, and the words she spits at her sister about being an adult and not blaming her problems on anyone else feel like they’re aimed at herself more than anyone else. But later Vanya’s continued concern acts like a balm to all of Allison’s hurt and she reaches out to her, wanting to be sisters again. Even though they were never like sisters to begin with and that’s another thing Allison has to feel guilty over, they all have to feel guilty of because they all went along with Dad in excluding Vanya from being part of the group.

 

Finding out the world is about to end and Five is trying to stop it raises a lot of questions for Allison, though it does also explain a lot about what’s been going on and how weird all of her siblings have been acting. Not to mention the two masked strangers attacking the house and demanding Five. Everything is happening so fast and Allison feels like everything narrows down to her two main concerns, saving Claire (if they save the world Claire will live and grow and even if Allison is never allowed near her again it’ll be enough that she’s alive and happy) and saving Vanya, who’s somehow caught up in the end of the world.

 

Allison’s always done best when she can clearly outline her goals, though it sometimes leaves her with tunnel vision. With all of her focus on Vanya, even Luther feels like an after thought, and she doesn’t realise how much she’s ignoring her other siblings until they’re sitting in a bowling alley trying to work out how to find Vanya. Allison looks around and Diego’s arm is in a sling, Five is still wincing from his shrapnel wounds and Klaus is shaking, looking like the closest thing Allison has ever seen to a ghost. She wants to say something but she’s voiceless and there’s no time to communicate the love she feels for all of them.

 

It’s as they’re standing on the stage, Vanya in Luther’s arms that Allison promises herself that whatever happens, she’ll make time for all her siblings. She will drag all of them (kicking and screaming if she has to) into some semblance of a happy, healthy family. Wanting her daughter to grow up happy and healthy – it’s made her realize how much she wishes they could have had that growing up.

 

And then everything goes bright.

* * *

 

2001 – AGE 12 YEARS (AGAIN)

 

Allison is trying not consider all of the realities of travelling back in time to their childhood in order to prevent Vanya from destroying the world. She thinks about all the bright spots (Ben is alive again) and all of the ways they can help each other (it’s a chance to try again, to live and grow up as happier, better adjusted adults instead of the emotionally stunted adult children they all were before).

She clings to her hope and tries not to think about Claire (who doesn’t exist any more, who might never exist again without Allison recreating her life perfectly). Allison doesn’t want to be selfish again, she wants to think of her siblings before herself this time and that means sacrificing the future she had before.

 

Not thinking about Claire doesn’t work. She tries it for over a week and it doesn’t help. Instead she tells Vanya about Claire, about how being a mother was the single best thing Allison ever did, despite how much she managed to fuck up even that. Vanya doesn’t say all that much, she hasn’t said much since waking up but none of them want to make the mistake of leaving Vanya out just because she’s quiet ever again.

 

Allison spends almost every waking moment with Vanya (or as much as she can without raising Dad’s suspicions). There’s a part of her brain that whispers about transference, about using this child looking version of her sister as a substitute for Claire but deep down Allison knows the love she feels for Vanya is completely different to the love she has for Claire. However childlike they all look, they’re still (mostly) adults and she’s careful not to come across as condescending when she spends time with Vanya.

 

When she’s not with Vanya she’s with Luther again, and that’s when it feels most like she’s reliving the life she lived before. Things are different now in her relationship with Luther, but there’s aspects of what they feel for each other that will never change, no matter how much time or space exists between them. She’s not the only one rediscovering friendships, Five spends as much time with Vanya as she does and Ben flits between his siblings, so happy to be able to talk to all of them again for the first time in years.

 

Maybe it’s the feeling of nostalgia in the air, the weird combination of old (the year, the house, Dad’s disapproving frown) and the new (sneaking into Vanya’s room at night to braid each other’s hair, talking quietly about hopes and dreams) that means Allison doesn’t realize they’re all falling into that old habit of ignoring Klaus again.

 

Until one night when Allison is sitting on her bed, almost crying for how sharp the loss of Claire felt that day. She considers getting up and going to Vanya’s room, but she knows Five and Ben are both there tonight, the three of them having formed a book club (with a confusing mix of classic literary fiction and physics text-books and biographies of famous musicians that doesn’t interest the rest of them) and sometimes it’s too hard to be around anyone when she’s sad.

 

The door to Allison’s bedroom creaks open and she’s hit with yet another wave of nostalgia at the sight of Klaus standing there. Though, Allison reflects, Klaus hadn’t hit this level of drunkenness and drug use until they were all at least fifteen that first time around. She knows from the comments that Ben had made that Klaus was clean and sober for the end of the world, but that brief brush with sobriety had ended the second Klaus was sent to distract Dad.

 

(Allison doesn’t blame him, every time she looks at Dad these days she wishes she had a glass of wine in front of her).

 

“Hey.” Klaus slurs, wavering on his feet. “Can I borrow a skirt or something? I forgot how boring everything in my wardrobe is at this age.” He enters the room, casually sitting on the edge of her bed as he talks. “I appreciate Dad letting Mom buy as normal clothes and all, but it’s really undermined by all those traditional gender roles and expectations he programmed into her.”

Allison remembers Klaus’s expressions when Mom would present them with clothes the first time around, the jealous looks at Allison and Vanya’s skirts and dresses. He’d never actually blamed Mom or gotten angry at her, and Allison thinks out of all of them Klaus has always been most aware of Mom’s limitations. (He still clearly loves her as much as the rest of them do, but he’s never surprised when she displays some sign of her inhuman nature).

 

Klaus seems to take her silence as permission cause he stands again, crossing to her wardrobe and riffling through the contents. If they were actually twelve again there’s an even chance that Allison would yell at him or let him take something without comment. They’re not twelve though so Allison asks;

 

“Are you okay? You’ve been indulging pretty hard lately.” It’s a polite way of saying she’s aware that Klaus is treating his childhood body the same as he had the adult one.

 

“I’m fine.” Klaus says, pulling a denim skirt from a hanger. He holds it in front of his body, looking in the mirror before he turns and looks at her. “What about you? Are you okay?”

 

It’s on the tip of Allison’s tongue to claim that she’s okay, but a lack of communication lead to the end of the world so instead she answers honestly;

 

“It’s Claires’ Birthday today.” It’s all she has to say.

 

Klaus nods in understanding, throwing the denim skirt to the bottom of her wardrobe in a careless gesture that would have annoyed her when they were younger.

 

“I would have liked to meet her.” Klaus says. “I like kids. I mean, I don’t want to have any but I like how much bullshit most of them don’t have following them around. Average kids that is, cause we all had a heaping pile of bullshit surrounding us from the moment we were born.”

 

“I would have liked all of you to meet her.” Allison says, thinking of all the invites she’d start to write around this time of year. Invitations to Claire’s birthday parties that she’d never send because of how futile it seemed to ask any of them to travel across the country for something like that.

 

“Nah. You wouldn’t have wanted me around.” Klaus says, grabbing a black, pleated skirt from her wardrobe and nodding in approval. “I’m the kind of uncle no one wants around their kids. The drunken, high fuck up that’s a bad influence and an embarrassment.”

 

Klaus looks at her and Allison can’t think of anything to say. It’s true, she would have been reluctant to introduce Klaus to Claire. Of all her siblings he’s the one she would have hesitated about the most. She tries to think of the right thing to say, but there’s really nothing she can add to Klaus’s comment that isn’t somehow harsh or judgmental about the way he acts.

 

Her silence says enough, Klaus just stares at her and she sees the way his grip on the skirt gets a tighter, knuckles turning white. He swallows a few times and then nods, turning and leaving the room without another word.  
  
Allison looks at her door as it closes behind Klaus. She’s struck by the feeling that they’re all failing Klaus again, in a way that’s brand new for this version of the past and all to old for the future they’re trying to prevent.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the spelling/grammar/tense mistakes there likely is. My writing process just involves letting my brain gush out a bunch of words while I hit keys on my laptop with such emphasis that it disturbs my cat's sleep.


	4. Diego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of them have their own bad habits, Diego included, but he's never known anyone who self-destructs quite like Klaus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went through a bunch of rewrites and will probably go through another one again but I wanted to get it posted. Thanks to everyone who's been commenting, I love reading all of your comments and they're a big reason why I'm trying to keep writing this fic as quickly as possible.
> 
> (Warning for this chapter, there's references to prostitution and at one point Klaus does kiss Diego, but it's an attempt to drive Diego away by disgusting him rather than Klaus actually coming on to Diego.)

DIEGO

 

1993 – AGE 4 YEARS

 

Number Two thinks he likes being at the swimming pool more than he likes being at home. He likes sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet in the water and swimming lessons are his favorite part of the week. Or at least they normally are but this week their swim teacher, Miss Petrov (who always smiles at them and tells them what a good job they’ve done at the end of class) is distracted teaching Number One something at the other end of the pool. Dad asked her to teach One something special because of how strong he is, but that just means the rest of them have to sit and wait while Miss Petrov is distracted.

 

The only good thing is they’re still allowed to play in the pool. The rest of them just have to stick to the shallow end and Miss Petrov had told them how mature they all are. (She said with her normal students she wouldn’t be able to trust them to behave, but all of them are so good she knows she can trust them and Two is still grinning at her praise. Even just thinking about it again makes him sit up a little straighter.)

 

He slumps again when another few minutes go by and Miss Petrov is still talking to One, showing him something to do with jumping into the water. Two listens to the sounds of Miss Petrov talking, and the occasional splashes as One jumps into the pool, again and again. He looks around at his other siblings to see if they’re doing anything fun. But Four, Five and Six are still sitting on the bench over by the water fountain, while Three and Seven play a game that seems to involve lots of giggling.

 

Two considers his options, he could go play with Three and Seven but what he really wants is to play with Four, since he’s always the most fun of all his brothers and sisters, Four isn’t even talking to Six or Five right now, so Two knows Four must be as bored as he is.

 

“Four.” Two calls out, but Four doesn’t seem to hear him. “Four!”

 

Four is still staring at nothing, just looking blankly out at the pool. Two tries again, calling out even louder, “Four!”.

 

This time when he calls out Six looks at him and then elbows Four in the side. Four almost seems to jump, eyes going wide with surprise as he looks over at Six, who then gestures at Two. “C-come here.” Two says, waving his hands at and Four takes forever to walk over, taking small careful steps on the tiles.

 

“What?” Four asks, sitting down so his feet dangle in the water like Twos’.

 

“We should see wh-who can st-stay under water the long - the longest.” Two tells him, talking slowly so that the words will come out easier.

 

Four looks at him for a moment and then nods. “Okay.”

 

It won’t be the funnest game they’ve ever played, but Two can’t really think of anything else to do since they don’t even have anything to play with other than the water.

 

Two smiles and pushes off the ledge, falling into the water with a splash and Four follows a second later. Four’s head dips under the water for a moment and Two laughs as Four pops back up, snorting and spluttering as he spits out water. Four likes to make funny faces at him during dinner and right now Four’s nose is scrunched up like the other night when he’d pushed it back so it’d look like a pig snout (Two laughed so hard that Dad told him off for disturbing quiet time).

 

“Ready?” Two asks, once Four stops spitting out water. Four nods and they both take big gulps of air, before slipping under the water.

 

Two blinks, letting his eyes adjust to the water and once they do he can see Four looking back at him. It’s strange being underwater like this, it’s not quite the same as when Miss Petrov makes them dunk their heads under or practice different swimming strokes. It reminds Two of dropping pebbles into the deep puddle that always forms in the courtyard when it rains, except this time he and Four are the pebbles sinking down to the bottom of the pool.

 

Seconds start to pass and Two stretches his legs so he’s sitting at the bottom of the pool, trying to make himself comfortable. He doesn’t feel like he needs to breath yet, and Four seems okay – even if he is making a weird face, with his eyes wide and his mouth open in surprise. Two watches the air bubbles that drift up out of Four’s open mouth, before he shuts it so fast that Two thinks Four’s teeth must make a noise. The water muffles sound to much for him to hear it though.

 

It feels like time is passing really slowly underwater, but it’s hard to tell without a clock to look at and Two isn’t the best at counting seconds as they pass (Five is the best at telling time, but Two’s still better than One or Four). Two’s already starting to feel bored again. Holding his breath isn’t as fun or exciting as he though it would be. Miss Petrov always talks about holding their breath underwater like it’s going to be a difficult thing, but she must just be talking like that cause she thinks they’re all babies or something. When he surfaces Two’s going to tell her how easy it is.

 

Across from him Four makes a weird motion, hands jerking about like when he’s dancing and Two almost giggles at the sight. But then Four’s mouth falls open again, and his eyes go all funny, rolling back into his head. Two reaches out, poking at his brother but Four doesn’t react.

 

Two’s not sure what to do, he grabs at Four, trying to shake him awake – he thinks it’s silly (frightening) that Four’s taking a nap underwater and he wants him to wake up. Two opens his mouth, feeling water rush in over his tongue as he tries to shout at Four but all the comes out is a gurgle.

 

An arm wraps around Two’s waist and he turns to see Miss Petrov, swimming next to them and grabbing Four as well. She heaves them up out of the water, slamming them down onto the side of the pool with enough force that Two gasps in surprise. She’s out of the water moments later and Two turns to look at Four but Miss Petrov is in the way, crowding over Four.

 

“Four?” Two asks, still spitting out the pool water taste from his mouth, he sits up and crawls closer. Miss Petrov is pushing at Four’s chest, leaning her face close to his and Two isn’t sure what’s going on.

 

His other siblings are gathering around closer, but they don’t seem to know what’s going on any more than Two does. More seconds pass and then suddenly Four is jerking awake. Two watches Four roll over and start vomiting out pool water, making gasping noises and shaking violently.

Later that night Dad calls the two of them into his office. Two squirms at the way Dad’s frowning down at them, not sure what to do in the face of Dad calling them foolish and demanding to know why they did something so idiotic.

 

Two stutters out, trying to explain that he doesn’t know what happened to Four, they were under the water and he felt fine but then Four went all funny – maybe because he drank too much pool water cause his mouth was open.

 

Dad suddenly focuses on Two and Two stands up straighter (having Dad’s attention like this is almost as good as when Miss Petrov tells him he’s done a good job, but Dad almost never focuses on him so it’s even rarer than Miss Petrov’s praise). Dad starts taking notes, asking Two more questions. He barely glances up to ask if Four has anything to add, and Two looks at his brother as Four says;

 

“It was really quiet.”

 

Two wonders what Four means, but Dad doesn’t seem interested. He sends Four out of the room and Two forgets about Fours comment when Dad starts talking again, mention tanks of water and asking Two even more questions.

* * *

 

1998 – AGE 8 YEARS

 

It’s weird to be outside on a sunny day without it being for some sort of training exercise. Normally they’d all be stuck inside doing lessons and practicing hand to hand combat or something like that, but today Dad isn’t around giving them commands. Two isn’t sure where Dad is but he’s not going to question having the day free to do whatever they want.

 

“I, uh...” Four says, making the same goofy face he always does when he’s trying to think up a good dare. “I double dog dare you to throw a rock at the beehive.” Four finishes with a wide grin.

 

Two looks up at the hive that’s slowly grown over the summer in the oak tree. It’s really big now, even at a distance Two can still hear the sound of bees buzzing around their hive, all slow and bumbling and not very busy at all.

 

“Th-that’s easy. I cou-could hit the hive with my eyes shut.” Two responds.  
  
“Okay. I dare you to throw a rock at the beehive while blindfolded.” Four amends his dare instantly.

 

Two tilts his head as he considers Four’s words. Four is right, it might be easy to hit the hive but if he does it blindfolded there’ll be an extra challenge in getting back inside before the bees start stinging him.

 

“Okay.” Two says, nodding.

 

“That’s dumb. Both of you are dumb.” Six says, from where he’s sitting on the bench reading a book. Six likes to act like he’s too smart to do silly stuff, but it was his idea to put all those worms in One’s bed, so Two knows he’s just pretending.

 

“Shut up Six. You don’t have to watch.” Four says, hands on his hips as he turns to frown at their other brother. Six looks up from his book and frowns back before saying;

 

“I want to watch. It’ll be funny.”

 

Unlike Six, Four never calls anything dumb, he’ll do pretty much anything if Two makes it sound like a good idea. A week ago he’d told Four that if he licked a battery he’d get pubes and Four had licked it – so it’s only fair that Two goes along with all of Four’s silly dares.

 

Two lets Four pull his tie up over his eyes and then feels Four handing him a smooth, heavy rock from the garden bed. He bounces the rock up and down in his hand, already holding his breath. For some reason not breathing in makes it even easier to make the things he throws curve at the right point. It’s been getting easier and easier for him to workout how objects will move through the air and how to get them to bend the way he wants. He always has to adjust even more when he’s throwing something he hasn’t thrown before – they still all have to wear padding and safety glasses when he practices in the training room with the set of throwing knives Dad gave him.

 

Two imagines what Dad would say, something about centering himself before throwing (well no, he’d actually demand to know what they’re doing and probably tell them to go study but Two can pretend). He’s not sure what centering himself means but it’s one of the things Dad always tells all of them during training so it’s probably important.

 

“Come on...” Four whines and Two jumps at how close Four’s voice is to his ear.

 

“Shut up.” Two hisses back. It’s hard to concentrate with Four breathing down his neck like this so he swings his arm back and hears Four let out a yelp when he makes contact.

 

Two pulls his arm back, holding the rock in an easy grip. As he whips his arm forward and lets go of the rock he feels Four slap him on the back – likely in revenge for Two just hitting him. Two stumbles slightly and as he throws the rock he can feel it going wide, angled away from the hive. He’s reaching up for his blindfold when he hears the rock hit a window with a loud smash and Two winces at the noise. With his blindfold off Two can see the rock shaped hole in one of the windows. He glances around and sees both Four and Six looking at the window with similar open mouthed expressions of shock.

 

Already imagining what Dad’s going to say Two shoves Four, hissing “This is your st-stupid f-fault. If you did-didn’t p-p-push me.” It’s a struggle for him to get the words out over the rising panic he’s feeling at how angry Dad will be with him for breaking that window. All of three of them just stand there, looking at the broken window.

 

Moments pass in silence and then the door to the courtyard swings open and Dad stands there, looking at all of them with an expression of disapproval.

 

“What is the meaning of this?” Dad asks, looking at them but gesturing up towards the window.

 

Two opens and closes his mouth a few times, still holding his tie in one hand. He can’t get any words out, they just freeze in his mouth as he looks at Dads frown – there’s not even any sounds like when he normally tries to talk.

 

“I did it.” Two turns his head to look at Four so quickly that his neck hurts when Four confesses.

 

Two can feel himself continuing to open and close his mouth, but their Dad just nods at this, immediately accepting that Four is to blame. Two looks at Six and can see the same look of surprise as there must be on his face.

 

Dad turns towards the inside of the house and calls out. “Come along Four.”

 

Two meets Four’s eyes, still wanting to ask what Four’s doing and maybe Four sees it in his eyes because Four shrugs and then smiles at Two. Four starts walking towards Dad like he isn’t following him to get yelled at and punished and Two still can’t get the question out.

  
He just watches Four and Dad disappear inside.

* * *

 

2003 – AGE 14 YEARS

 

Diego spends the entire day with Mom, following her around, helping her out with taking care of the house. Before Mom birthdays were just a day of the year where Dad wasn’t going to be around because he was busy charting their progress for the year and the development of all their powers.

 

Now with Mom it’s a lot more fun. He can spend the day with her and latter helps her cook the birthday cake that they’ll all gather around the kitchen table to eat. Not having to eat dinner at the table with day might be Diego’s second favorite thing about birthday’s, after getting to spend the entire day one on one with Mom since everyone else was focused on doing their own things.

 

He actually really likes cooking, aside from the fact he gets to spend time with Mom it combines two of his favorite things – knives and food. As he and Mom wait for it to finish baking, Diego thinks about how Klaus will really like this years cake since it involves colorful, obnoxious funfetti and a lot of strawberries.

 

Despite the colorful cake Diego knows it’s going to feel somber when they gather around the kitchen table to eat the cake. Normal dinners have been somber enough and this will be the first birthday they have since Five has disappeared. There’s only six of them now.

 

As his siblings filter into the room, Diego picks up a knife and twirls it in his hand before slicing seven even pieces off the cake. He pauses, looking down at the slices and swallowing his sadness as he looks at the extra slice. When he looks back up at his siblings he realizes he didn’t even need to cut off six pieces because Klaus isn’t there.

 

It’s not that surprising since Diego hasn’t seen Klaus all day, and lately Klaus has been using any free moment to sneak from the house. He’s pretty sure that Dad has noticed Klaus sneaking out but so far he hasn’t said anything. None of them talk about the way Klaus reeks of pot these days.

 

(In past years Klaus would have spent their birthday with Ben, but lately Diego’s noticed the way Klaus avoids Ben, going out of his way not to be alone in the same room as him. It’s out of character and Diego’s seen the way Ben’s face falls when Klaus refuses to look at him – the confusion and hurt on Ben’s face is always so obvious and Diego doesn’t know how Klaus can just ignore it.)

They eat in silence, because even without Dad there it’s hard to break the lifelong habit they all have of not speaking during meal times. The cake is sweet on Diego’s tongue, vanilla and strawberries with bursts of crunchy sweetness from all of the funfetti sprinkles. It’s not Diego’s favorite kind of cake, he prefers last years Oreo cheesecake but it doesn’t taste bad at all.

 

Heavy stumbling footsteps announce Klaus moments before he appears in the doorway, tripping over his own feet. There’s so much smeared eye liner around Klaus’s eyes that for a moment Diego thinks Klaus has been punched in the face. The rest of Klaus’s outfit is in similar disarray so it’s not that surprising when Diego notices the empty bottle in Klaus’s hand. (It doesn’t look like the alcohol bottles in Dad’s liquor cabinet, it’s a simpler bottle and Diego wonders how Klaus got his hands on alcohol that he didn’t steal from Dad. There’s no way Klaus was able to buy it at a liquor store.)

 

Diego stops eating and he can see everyone else do the same as they all stare at Klaus.

 

“Wow, you’d think it was a funeral with how cheery everyone is.” Klaus jokes, words slurring together so much Diego isn’t sure what he’s saying at first.

 

“Hello dear, would you like a slice of cake?” Mom asks Klaus,moving to put one of the spare two slices onto a plate.

 

“Nah, I’m on a liquid diet. All the rage these days, won’t be long before Allison jumps on the bandwagon.” Klaus says shaking his and sneering at Allison in a way that makes Diego wonder if Allison and Klaus have had another one of their dramatic fights, which he never pays attention to.

 

He can’t take his eyes of Klaus. This version of Klaus, swaying on his feet and lifting the empty bottle to his lips before lowering it in disappointment – it reminds Diego of a car crash, there’s something so tragic and brutal about it but he can’t look away.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Luther asks, already sounding huffy because of the way Klaus was talking about Allison.

  
Klaus turns his sneer from Allison to Luther.   
  
“Oh, you know. Just the normal Dad treating me like his own personal human Oija Board bullshit. I keep telling him Five isn’t going to answer. But does he listen? No. Instead it’s ‘Try harder Number Four. Focus Number Four. Stop crying Number Four’.”

 

This is the angriest that Diego’s ever seen Klaus and it’s freaking him out. Normally Klaus is mellow and funny, but the version of Klaus in front of them now is physically shaking in anger. None of them move or say anything and Diego thinks his other siblings must be as shocked as he is at Klaus’s outburst.  
  
Before any of them can think of something to say Klaus’s face drains of color, the bottle falls from his hand and rolls under the table as Klaus pitches forward. His head hits the ground with a loud smack, but he must already be unconscious because he doesn’t react at all.

 

“Excuse me children. I think Klaus needs to have his stomach pumped.” Mom says, smile slowly morphing into the serious expression she has whenever she goes into nurse mode. She crosses the room and lifts Klaus in her arms. She disappears out of the kitchen with him in her arms, no doubt heading for the infirmary.

 

Diego looks down at his half eaten slice of cake. He picks up the fork and has another bite of cake. He finds it suddenly tastes bitter instead of sweet. 

* * *

 

2008 – AGE 18 YEARS

 

Diego almost doesn’t see him. It’s only by chance that he does a double take and realizes that the figure huddled in the bus stop that he’s driving pass is definitely Klaus. Diego pulls his car over into the bus lane but it’s late enough he doubts any buses are still running.

 

He considers calling out to him, but even from a distance he can tell Klaus is too out of it to notice him unless he’s right in front of Klaus’s face. Diego parks the car and Klaus doesn’t even look up as Diego approaches. He takes a moment to look Klaus up and down, examining his brother for the first time in months.

  
What he sees isn’t good. Klaus looks even thinner, his hair is even wilder and there’s a layer of grime covering his skin that just confirms Diego’s suspicions that Klaus had left home without having somewhere to go. There’s an oddly incongruous amount of make-up on his brother’s face, eyes rimmed in liner, his lashes thick and black with mascara almost distracting from the dark bags under his eyes. The thing that really causes Diego’s stomach to drop is the sight of angry looking track marks visible on the arm that isn’t wrapped around the bag Klaus is cuddling to his chest. It’s further confirmation of things Diego hadn’t wanted to think about – after all it had been easier to pretend Klaus wasn’t falling apart while none of them did anything only as long as none of them had to see the direct proof.

  
“Klaus...” Diego says, reaching out to touch Klaus’s shoulder. Klaus’s eyes are open but he doesn’t seem to notice Diego until he physically turns Klaus so that he’s facing him. Recognition slowly fills Klaus’s eyes, his lips pulling into a smile.

 

“Diiiiiieeeeegoooooo.” Klaus slurs out his name, dragging it out like it’s a struggle for him to get all the way through it. He lifts a hand and waves, showing a palm wrapped in a bandage that’s grey with sweat and dirt.

 

“Are you waiting for the bus, buddy?” Diego asks, voice gentle since he doubts Klaus is even aware of where he is. Klaus shrugs in response, curling up even smaller on the seat and blinking around with vacant, unfocused eyes.

 

“Do you – do you want to get some food?” Diego suggests. He wants to get Klaus out of the cold, inside somewhere with hot food inside him, because maybe then Klaus will seem more tethered to reality and less like he could float away on the breeze.

 

Klaus blinks at him and Diego can almost see the struggle going on in Klaus’s head, the way his brothers thoughts move slow and sticky like molasses. Eventually Klaus nods though, muttering something too soft for Diego to catch it, face turning away for a moment as he rubs his face against his duffel bag.

 

“Okay. Come on.” Diego pulls Klaus up, keeping him steady when his feet slip and tangle around each other. Klaus almost falls but there’s so little of him now that Diego keeps him upright with only one arm wrapped around Klaus’s waist.

 

Diego has to practically pour Klaus into his back seat. He wonders if Klaus has had another growth spurt somehow, because despite how skinny he is there is a lot of leg and arm that Diego has to shove inside before shutting the car door. He doesn’t bother telling Klaus to put his seat belt on, since it’s unlikely that Klaus would listen in the first place and even if he did Diego doubts Klaus has the coordination to do it.

 

As he drives them to a near by diner (he doesn’t have any food at home and he’s not sure what to do about Klaus right now, other than get some food in him and see if he gets any more lucid) Klaus keeps muttering to himself. His voice is too soft for Diego to understand what he’s saying, but the rhythm of his words makes Diego think Klaus is talking to someone – or rather having a one sided conversation with himself.

 

It’s late enough at night that the diners near empty and Diego doesn’t even get weird looks from the waitress as he drags Klaus inside and dumps him in the booth. (Diego has no doubt the waitress has seen weirder things while working late shifts.)

 

Klaus seems more awake now, still blinking slowly but he’s looking around at the diner like he’s actually seeing his surroundings and the tension eases a little in Diego’s chest.

 

“What’s with the bandages?” Diego asks, trying to make Klaus focus on him.

 

Klaus lifts his hands, looking down at the bandages wrapping around with them with blank eyes. He looks back up at Diego, blinking slowly and then says;

 

“My body is a Ouija board.”

 

Diego raises his eyebrows. He’s not sure why he was expecting Klaus to make any sense at all. They sit there in silence, Diego wondering if there’s anyway he can get Klaus to focus long enough to at least tell him what he took. Klaus keeps mumbling, quiet at first then loud enough that Diego can make out the words;

 

“Dad can’t know we snuck out Benny.” Diego stares at Klaus for a long moment, then flicks his eyes towards the empty air Klaus is still talking to. “Yeah, but… but don’t be such a buzz-kill. Diego’s with us. He’ll buy us waffles.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Diego asks, watching as Klaus drags his attention away from the empty seat to stare at him.

 

“I’m – Ben wants waffles.” Klaus says instead, like their brother hasn’t been dead for months.

 

Diego looks at the empty seat and asks “Are you seeing his ghost?”

 

Klaus frowns, eyes narrowing like he’s concentrating and Diego watches a bead of sweat roll down his brothers face, leaving a clear trail in the dirt and make-up smudges. Klaus shakes his head and lets out a giggle, frown easing into a wide grin.  
  
“Benny’s not dead, Diiiieeegoooo.” Klaus drags his name out again, rolling his eyes like Diego’s being stupid. “He’s right here.” Klaus gestures at the empty space next to him.

 

“...okay.” Diego says, looking down at the table and keeping his voice soft. A part of him wants to yell at Klaus, demand to know why he’s pretending Ben’s alive. Deep down he knows shouting will just lead to Klaus becoming upset, will probably lead to Klaus storming out of the diner in confusion – so Diego can play along right now with whatever fantasy Klaus is living.

 

Diego orders waffles when the waitress comes by and he sits in silence watching Klaus continue to talk to Ben, cutting the waffles in half with the plate pushed towards the empty seat like he’s sharing his meal. There’s no real logic to what Klaus is saying and even if Diego could hear the imaginary side of the conversation he knows it would sound like nonsense, since Klaus is flitting between subjects, loosing track of sentences mid way through and starting new ones.

 

By the time the food goes cold Klaus hasn’t eaten more than a few bites but it’s obvious he’s lost interest in eating any more. He’s still talking though, topic drifting to their 16th Birthday, murmuring to the imaginary Ben about wanting new nail polish. Diego frowns and a thought occurs to him that has him asking Klaus;

  
“Klaus, how old are we?”

 

There’s a long pause as Klaus turns his head towards Diego and seems to think about his question for more time than it would normally require.

 

“15?” Klaus asks, biting his lip like he would whenever Dad would ask him to answer a question during lessons and he’d guess the answer.

 

Diego just sighs, swallowing down the last of his coffee. He throws some money on the table and gets up. He has to pull Klaus from the booth to get him to stand, since he’s still uneasy on his feet. Diego nods at the waitress as he bundles Klaus out of the diner and back into the car.   
  
The food has at least made Klaus somewhat more lucid, because a few minutes into the drive he leans forward, head poking through the gap between the driver and passenger seat. Diego glances at Klaus from the corner of his eye, then focuses back on the road.

 

“Where are we going?” Klaus asks.

 

“I’m taking you to the hospital.” Diego replies, wanting to be honest with his brother. He’s not expecting the way Klaus starts to shake, his eyes going wide and a look of betrayal appearing on his face.   
  
If Diego was faster he’d think to hit the child-locks on the doors, but it doesn’t occur to him what Klaus is going to do until he hears the door opening. Diego glances up into the rear view mirror and slams on the brakes as he watches Klaus try to launch himself from the moving car. He manages to slow down enough that Klaus only stumbles slightly before he’s up right again, running off down an alley on legs that can barely support his own wait.   
  
“Fuck.” Diego curses, slamming his fists against the steering wheel. He can’t jump out to follow, not with the traffic that’s behind him and he knows by the time he pulls over Klaus will have used his knowledge of these streets to vanish.

 

“Fuck.” Diego repeats, rubbing a hand over his face and thinking that next he needs to lie to Klaus – for his own good. He just really wasn’t expecting Klaus to dive from the car like that.

* * *

 

 

2012 – AGE 23

 

The cop he’s been shadowing as part of his training (Officer Barnett - ‘Call me Charlie, kid’) is the one who calls.

  
“Hey, kid, you said you had brothers and sisters, right? Is one of them named Klaus.”

 

Diego winces, pulling the phone away from his ear for a moment and rubbing his face, because of course this is happening. He’s been working hard at learning the ropes from Charlie at the station, working at getting through the academy and now Charlie is calling asking about Klaus. The only possibility is that Klaus has somehow gotten picked up by the police (not for the first time, but it is the first time since Diego’s been enrolled at the police academy).

 

He almost thinks he’d prefer if it was the hospital calling about Klaus OD’ing again, instead of his supervisor. (That’s a lie. Klaus being in trouble is always better than Klaus hurting himself.) Diego sighs and then says;

 

“Yeah. Klaus Hargreeves, that’s one of my brothers.”

 

“Well you might want to pick him up. People are going to hear the name and put two and two together like I have.” Charlie replies and Diego hears the subtext, that Charlie’s giving him this warning and opportunity because having a junkie criminal brother isn’t a great look for a future cop.

 

Diego thanks him and hangs up, not bothering to ask what the charges are since he can guess. It’s always the same, public intoxication, disturbing the peace and sometimes a bit of petty thievery or vandalism thrown in. Klaus likes to make a scene every few months, though it sometimes ends in trips to the hospital or stints in rehab since it doesn’t always get to the point where he’s picked up by police. He hates it but part of him is always glad when he hears news about Klaus doing something stupid or reckless again, because it at least lets him know Klaus isn’t dead in an alleyway or crackhouse somewhere.

 

When he’s leaning against a desk, watching Charlie lead Klaus out into the bullpen, Diego realizes he should have asked why Klaus was picked up. (Maybe then he could have brought a large jacket to cover Klaus up with.) It’s obvious from the way Klaus is dressed, and the side eye look of disgust Charlie is giving him that Klaus has been busted for solicitation.

 

Klaus looks like bait for the kind of people Diego wants to put away some day. He’s wearing tight leather shorts (his legs are long and pale, fingerprint bruises on his thighs mingling with track marks) and a mesh crop top (somehow tight on even Klaus’s skinny frame and that draws attention to the dark bruises on his neck like someone wrapped a hand around his throat). There’s make-up on Klaus’s face and it’s smeared around his mouth like he’s been – been kissing people (been doing more but Diego doesn’t want to think about that).

 

“Diego!” Klaus cries out, launching himself at Diego to wrap an arm around his shoulder. Klaus is grinning and swaying on his feet, acting like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Diego feels sick at the scent of smoke, alcohol, sweat and sex that’s pouring off of Klaus and he takes a step back, shaking Klaus’s arm from his around him.

 

“Here’s your stuff.” Charlie’s gruff voice interrupts their reunion and Diego watches Klaus eagerly grab at the Ziploc bag, containing a few $20 bills. Klaus pulls out the money and shoves it down the front of his pants. Charlie raises an eyebrow but he just nods at Diego before walking away.

 

Looking at his swaying brother for a second long, Diego turns on his heel and starts to leave the police station. He’s already paid the bail and he doesn’t want to be standing there with Klaus for a moment longer. He can hear his brother’s footsteps behind him, slightly heeled boots clacking across the tiles. When they get to Diego’s car he barely waits for Klaus to get in the back-seat before he’s pulling out of the parking space.

 

They sit in silence for a few minutes as Diego starts driving towards his apartment, brain on autopilot and then Diego feels himself explode in anger, rage boiling through his body as he shouts;

 

“What the hell were you thinking?” He looks in the rear view mirror at Klaus, sees the way his brother’s head tilts like he’s considering his answer carefully. Klaus doesn’t seem surprised by Diego’s anger, he seems to just take it in stride all while smiling that carefree smile that Diego wants to slap off his face sometimes.

 

“Well – I didn’t know the guy was a cop and even then what kind of person turns down a $20 blowjob in this economy.” Klaus giggles and Diego’s grip on the steering wheel gets tighter (he tries not to think about what the three $20 bills Klaus had shoved in his shorts means).

 

“So that’s what you’re doing now? Blowing guys for money?” Diego shouts. He’s so angry right now, angry at Klaus and at Dad and at the whole god-damn world, but only Klaus is there so Diego focuses his anger at his brother.

 

“Hey, it’s not just blowjobs. I have a whole range of marketable skills.” Klaus says, still laughing. Diego can see Klaus making an obscene gesture in the back-seat, thumb and forefinger in a circle and two other fingers thrusting in and out of it.

 

“What would B-Ben think?” Diego says, he wants to keep shouting, wants to let all of his anger pour out at the world but his voice cracks. It’s just not worth the energy it takes to stay angry at Klaus, it always leaves him feeling hollow – leaves him with a gutted feeling like being around Klaus eats away his insides.

 

“What would Ben think? I could tell you exactly what he thinks, but you don’t really want to know.” Klaus says, voice going flat.

 

Diego rubs a hand over his face again, slowing the car down as they approach a set of traffic lights. Klaus is starting to shiver, arms wrapping around himself and Diego turns the heater on. There’s not a lot Diego can say right now that won’t lead to Klaus launching himself from the moving car and having that happen once was more than enough.

 

“Look. Let me take you to my place. You can clean yourself up.” Diego offers, feeling grateful that he hasn’t asked Eudora to move in with him yet. He doesn’t want to know if he’d make the offer if it meant introducing Eudora to Klaus when he’s in this state.

 

“Thanks.” Klaus whispers, teeth starting to chatter a little and Diego’s pretty sure it’s not just his revealing outfit that is making Klaus shake. “I can’t stay for long. Need to get something from a friend.”

 

Diego frowns, glaring at Klaus’s reflection in the mirror and watching the way his body is starting to shiver as he comes down from whatever high he was on.

 

“You could stay.” Diego offers, “I’ll even make breakfast in the morning.”

 

“I don’t need your pity.” Klaus responds, smile falling from his face. “I’m fine.”

 

“Sure, you’re fine. Whoring yourself out, getting choked out. Let me guess, you got to mouthy with a client and they wanted to shut you up.” Diego can’t keep the bitterness from his tone.

 

“What? No, these were from fun not from work.” Klaus says, starting to laugh and Diego glances in the mirror again, sees Klaus wrap his own hands around his neck and squeeze.

 

“Fun?” Diego repeats at Klaus, not believing a word since he knows what it looks like when someone gets choked by someone intending to hurt or kill them.

  
“Yeah. You should have seen her hands. Long, skinny fingers and massive fake nails. I might still have scratch marks.” Klaus leers at him in the mirror, and Diego also knows what it sounds like when Klaus is lying through his teeth.

 

The rest of the drive is spent in silence. Klaus slumps deeper into the seat, still shivering and Diego keeps glancing back at his brother – mentally running through different conversations and arguments he could make right now, to get Klaus to listen to him or at least tell him the truth. Even in his head Diego ends up stuttering or shouting at Klaus.

 

The apartment building Diego lives in isn’t anything special, but it’s not a complete dump either so Diego isn’t surprised when Klaus looks at the building and says “Nice place” without any sarcasm.

 

“Thanks.” Diego says, surprised by how much Klaus’s words mean. Maybe his place isn’t as nice as where they grew up, but Diego feels a certain pride at the fact he’s paying the rent with his own money and is control of his own life.

 

The one downside of the building is the fact the elevators been broken for the last week, so Diego does end up half dragging Klaus up three flights of stairs. He gets the feeling Klaus is making the process harder than he has to, but Diego isn’t about to start arguing with him in the middle of the stairwell.

 

Diego leans Klaus against the hallway wall, hoping that none of his neighbors are going to come out and see him going into his place with Klaus, who still looks like a prostitute even in the less-harsh-than-the-police-station lighting of his apartment building. Once the doors open Diego pushes Klaus inside, ignoring Klaus’s noise of protest as he almost trips over his own feet.

 

“Bathroom’s there.” Diego gestures at the one of two doors off the main room of apartment. It’s a small space, but he keeps it clear of clutter. (It helps that their childhood didn’t leave any of them with a lot of important items, or at least none that Diego wanted to take with him when he left the academy). “Should be clean towels in there. I’ll get you some clothes and make some -” He goes to say coffee but switches it to “tea” when he remembers the bags of chamomile tea Eudora had shoved in his kitchen cabinet.

 

(She has a bedtime routine that she follows even when she stays at his place, and Diego finds watching her make herself tea is oddly soothing. Something about watching Eudora move so comfortably in his kitchen made his tongue feel clumsy like when he’d been a child.)

 

Klaus heads for the bathroom, pulling his crop top off and dropping it on the floor as he crosses into the room, shutting the door behind him. Diego rolls his eyes and picks the top of the ground, folding it and placing it on the coffee table. He barely resists the urge to call-out to Klaus and ask what Mom would think of him leaving his shit everywhere.

 

Diego wordlessly ends up grabbing some clothes from his dresser instead, an old t-shirt that’s starting to wear thin at points and a baggy pair of sweatpants that’ll no doubt seem even bigger on Klaus’s skinny frame. He opens the bathroom door a little and slides the clothes inside, saying;

 

“Wear this when you get out.” He knows it’s possible Klaus will shower and then try to leave, wearing the same outfit as before. Diego’s hoping that the offer of tea and somewhere warmer than the streets will at least tempt Klaus into staying for awhile. He starts boiling water and checks that the radiator is working properly – it’s given out a few times since he’s lived here and he really needs the apartment to stay warm and inviting while Klaus is here.

 

He gets a blanket out of his closet as well, a thick woolen one that’s a remnant of the time Mom took up knitting. They all had thick sweaters and gloves all through that winter, all perfectly knitted in intricate patters since Mom was as perfect at knitting as she was at cooking. (Diego doesn’t use the blanket often, it’s a little small for his bed since the one back at the academy was a single mattress, but only the coldest nights it’s good for curling up on the couch under, especially if Eudora is over).

 

It takes a long time before Klaus finishes showering but Diego doesn’t blame him, every time he’s seen Klaus since they both left the Academy it’s seemed like Klaus was in need of a good shower or at least clean clothes. He is a little surprised when Klaus emerges wearing the clothes Diego had left, with his hair wrapped in a towel, but Diego tries not to show it. Instead he gestures for Klaus to sit on the couch and hands him a cup of tea.   


“Thanks.” Klaus says, blinking at him in a way that seems more sleepy than drug addled. Diego guesses Klaus must be starting to crash from whatever high he was on. It won’t be long before Klaus is out searching for his next high, Diego thinks. He pushes the blanket towards Klaus, who pulls it over his lap, swinging his legs up onto the seat and sipping at his cup of tea.

 

“You need to be more careful.” Diego says, not meaning one thing in particular but more all of what Klaus is doing, the drugs, the sex, the petty theft – all of it.

 

“I’m plenty safe.” Klaus replies, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated way. There’s still smeared eye-liner around his eyes, but most of the make-up has been wiped away and Diego sees clearly for the first time just how tired Klaus looks. Not to mention worn down, thin and older than his 23 years his brother looks.

 

“Come on dude.” Diego tries to go for a more light-hearted tone, this time hoping Klaus won’t start getting off topic. “If you die then I’m stuck with Luther as my favorite brother.”  
  
Klaus snorts into his tea, looking up to give Diego a smile of genuine amusement. It fades after a second into a more thoughtful expression as Klaus stares blankly at a spot on the wall.

 

“My favorite is Ben.” Klaus says in a soft voice.

 

“Yeah he was my favorite too.” Diego admits and the conversation must be getting to close to being serious because Klaus adopts a mock offended look and says in a mock outraged tone;

 

“You said I was your favorite.”

 

“When did I say that?”

  
  
“When we were like eight or nine. Remember, the beehive and the broken window? You told me after dinner I was your favorite sibling and tried to hug me.” Klaus shrugs at him.  
  
Diego stares at Klaus in surprise, at both the reminder of that day and at the fact Klaus can remember it so clearly. There’s been so many times when Klaus seems unable to remember things that happened to him recently, it’s odd to hear him talking about when they were kids.

 

“Oh yeah. Well I had to say that. You basically jumped on a grenade for me when you told Dad you threw the rock.” Diego remembers his pure shock and Klaus’s willingness to face down Dad’s anger.

 

“I guess I developed my talent for self-destructive behavior early.” Klaus says, sounding suddenly bitter to Diego’s ears, instead of light-hearted.

  
“You – you should get help. I mean, I want to help you. You’re my brother and I want to help you.” Diego says, words feeling clumsy in his mouth as he stumbles in trying to express how much he wants to be there to help Klaus.

 

For a long moment Klaus keeps staring into space and then he tilts his head to meet Diego’s eyes. Diego can see a mix of pain, fear and something undeniably sad (self-loathing part of his brain whispers, reminding Diego of the times he’s looked at his own reflection that look in his eyes).

“I – I want help. I need help.” Klaus admits, voice thin and weak. His eyes start to fill with tears and Diego doesn’t know what to do. He hands Klaus a box of tissues and sits there as Klaus wipes his eyes and blows his nose, feeling awkward at Klaus’s display of emotions. But he does want to help and that’s why Diego remains with him, not leaving even though that’s what he would have done as a kid.

 

For the next half-hour Diego makes plans with Klaus, talks to him about treatments and rehab. He makes plans for the future with his brother, telling Klaus he can stay on his couch either while he gets help or after he completes rehab. It’ll put his plans to ask Eudora to move in on hold, but she’ll understand and when Klaus is clean or at least cleaner then he can introduce them. The thought of introducing Eudora to Klaus, of having at least one of his siblings meet the love of his life fills Diego with a sense of hope. (It’s weird how much hope he’s had lately, hope for a future with Eudora, hope to finish at the police academy and make himself something other than what his father did. Diego could almost get addicted to the feeling of hope).

 

Klaus’s yawning starts to get heavier and Diego gently takes the mug from his hand, pushing Klaus back so he’s laying down. He leaves the mug in the kitchen sink and turns out the light in the living room, since Klaus already looks like he’s asleep. Diego stands in the semi-darkness, bedroom door open enough that the light is shining over Klaus’s form on the couch. Then Diego steps back into his room and closes the door, it’s weird how much having Klaus in the apartment relaxes him. Maybe he had been more worried about Klaus well-being than he thought, if it feels like some ever present tension has just relaxed inside of him. Whatever the reason Diego finds it easier to fall asleep, one less thing on his mind.

 

When he wakes up the morning Klaus is gone, Diego’s t-shirt, sweatpants and blanket all folded neatly on the coffee table. Klaus’s own shirt and shorts both missing from where he’d left them. There’s a wet towel on the bathroom floor, with smears of make-up on one corner and Diego’s wallet is missing.

 

(After this it gets a little easier for Diego to care less about Klaus. He makes a habit of pretending not to care, of learning how to ignore the painful clench in his chest when he thinks about Klaus. His hope for his brother turns into bitterness and maybe it’s a sign of things to come, because suddenly so many hopes start crumbling in front of his eyes.)

* * *

 

2019 – AGE 29 YEARS

 

It’s almost comforting that Klaus never seems to change, even after all these years he’s still the same annoying, irresponsible junkie that manages to inspire both sadness and irritation in Diego whenever he’s around him. Not that Diego’s spent much time around Klaus in the last few years without it involving telling Klaus to get lost when he comes looking for money or reluctantly giving Klaus rides.

 

Seeing Klaus because of Dad’s death is positively pleasant compared to the few times Diego has run into Klaus while he’s been out working (turns out there’s some overlap between vigilante and drug addict when it comes to acquaintances). However annoying Klaus is, with his jokes about bondage and leather (Diego had forgotten what Allison’s real laugh sounded like until that moment) he’s nowhere near as annoying as Luther’s self-righteousness and Vanya’s tell all novel. Being around so many family members has Diego on edge, and even his happiness at Fives’ return turns to annoyance at his behavior within minutes. It’s so hard for Diego to keep a level head when he’s under the Academy’s roof.

 

Mom is the only bright spot, but even she seems worn down from the years. Diego can make excuses about her need to rest and recharge, but deep down he’s starting to think that she’s decayed and deteriorated after so many years alone in the house with Dad. He still knows there’s no chance she was the one to kill Dad though, and Diego can’t get out of the house fast enough, wanting to get rid of Dad’s monocle and get back to work as quickly as he can. (Maybe he can ease the raw feeling under his skin that being around so many reminders of the past is causing him by doing some good, stopping some bad guys).

 

Diego lets Klaus jump in the back of his car because as annoying as Klaus is part of Diego would feel bad about just leaving him in that house with everyone else. Normally it’s easy to ignore Klaus’s chatter, but the way he’s talking to empty seat next to him is rubbing Diego the wrong way with how everything else has been going. He drops Klaus off at a bus stop, letting the chatter on his police radio give him a distraction, a productive way to channel his emotions if not a particularly healthy one.

 

At some point between masked maniacs, deactivating Mom and the loss of the love of his life Diego looses track of Klaus. Maybe ten or even five years ago he would have spared a thought for Klaus, but honestly he’s been practicing ignoring Klaus and pretending not to care for so long that it’s almost second nature. There’s just so much going on and Klaus is normally some form of okay (not okay, but he always makes it out of bad situations alive) so Diego just doesn’t think about him.

 

He honestly finds himself regretting this lack of attention when he runs into Klaus at the house, as he drives Klaus around he can tell something bad has happened to his brother. He knows it has to be something real bad as well, because Diego’s seen Klaus laugh and joke after overdoses and arrests so many times but he’s never seen Klaus looking this fragile before – there’s always been a sharpness to Klaus even when he’s worn down that isn’t there when Diego looks over at Klaus slumped over in the passenger seat with a bottle of cheap vodka.

 

Diego tries to make conversation, talks in a light tone like Klaus does in so many tense moments. It would be easier to just drop Klaus off and drive away, but with everything that’s happened in the past few days Diego is done with their families habit of ignoring problems. The fight and the heart to hear that follows, however awkward is oddly touching and something Diego isn’t sure he could have with his other siblings.

 

It’s this and a combination of other things (Klaus saving his life – twice, most of the family banding together to stop the apocalypse and seeing Ben again, even if Diego is distracted by thoughts of revenge at the time,) that has Diego looking around at his siblings as they stand in a circle and thinking, maybe they can all have a second chance to be better to each other. Maybe if they go back in time far enough they can save Eudora as well as the world.

 

And then everything goes bright.

* * *

  
  


2001 – AGE 12 YEARS (AGAIN)

 

Even with good intentions, habits are hard to break. Being twelve years old again, under Dad’s roof with all of his siblings together brings back a lot of feelings that Diego was never successful at moving past to begin with.

 

They all try to make some changes, not wanting to make the same mistakes they did the first time (since that lead to the end of the world). It’s easier to change some habits than it is others. Diego finds including Vanya, despite how angry he was in the past over her book, is one of the easiest changes that they all make. Excluding her from almost everything the first time round was mostly a result of wanting Dad’s approval (at least in Diego’s case it was, he can’t speak for all of his siblings) and now with their adult minds in their childhood bodies and years of knowing how fucked up Dad was (or days of knowing in Luther’s case) it’s easier for them to make an effort where Vanya is concerned.

 

It’s like travelling back in time has left them all changed, even Luther and Diego’s surprised by how much he finds himself enjoying Luther’s company and relearning how to fight with him in their childhood bodies. But some habits are hard to break and when it becomes clear that Klaus’s period of sobriety is over, Diego finds himself falling back in the habit of pretending not to care, of ignoring what’s going wrong with Klaus.

 

It’s almost easier to justify ignoring Klaus, since it’s not just him (and ghost Ben) stuck dealing with Klaus any more, all of them are together again and the petty, bitter part of Diego’s mind can’t help but think it should be someone else’s’ turn to try to help Klaus. Surely this time one of their other siblings can try to have a heart to heart with Klaus, hell maybe they’ll actually be successful since Diego hasn’t been.

 

Despite this thought process Diego does pause when he sees Klaus stumbling from the bathroom to his bedroom in the middle of the afternoon. It’s a familiar image, Klaus clearly high and/or drunk, with make-up on his face and what looks like Allison’s clothing on (Diego wonders how Dad hasn’t noticed Klaus walking around like that) but it’s also unsettling with how wrong this level of intoxication looks on such a young version of Klaus’s body.

 

Diego’s frozen, watching Klaus move closer and closer to him as he stumbles down the hallway. He’s frozen and not expecting Klaus to even look at him which is why he doesn’t react when Klaus gets closer and leans against him. Diego braces Klaus’s body and barely has time to take in the look of desperation and mania on Klaus’s face before Klaus’s lips are against his own.

 

Klaus kisses him, limp body pressing Diego back against the wall and Diego tastes the alcohol on Klaus’s breath before he shoves him back.

 

“What the hell? Get the fuck off of me.” Diego says, spinning Klaus around so that he's pinned against the wall.

 

“Come on. It’s not like we have a lot of options. Either we all end up fucking each other or we find some older pervert to fuck because they’re mentally the same age as us.” Klaus slurs out.

 

“Or we could not be freaks about this. Just wait it out.” Diego says, resisting the urge to start shouting at Klaus. He thinks he’s seen this version of Klaus before, a version that’s trying to self destruct. (The version that takes too many pills, not caring if he wakes up.)

 

“We’ll all go crazy. Puberty was a bitch the first time around and you’re going to be stuck waiting a long time for that girlfriend of yours. She must be about twelve now as well, unless you’re into that.” Klaus smirks at Diego.

 

Diego raises his hand, not sure if he’s going to hit or slap Klaus, but wanting to do something to make him shut up. He pulls his arm back and – and Klaus doesn’t flinch at all, he tilts his chin up like he’s waiting for a punch. Diego lets his hand fall and watches the desperation in Klaus’s eyes build. The realization that Klaus wants him angry, wants to be hurt hits Diego and leaves him feeling breathless.

  
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Diego asks, taking a step back from Klaus and letting both disgust and amazement show on his face.

 

Klaus starts to laugh, head hitting the wall with a thump as his laughter makes his body shake. “So, so, so many things. Right now though my main problem is that I’m too sober.”

 

Klaus pushes off the wall and starts taking a step towards his room, so Diego reaches out, resting a hand against Klaus’s chest to stop him. Klaus looks down at his hand and then back up at Diego, eyes oddly blank and expression calculating and cold. Diego takes a step back, not sure how to react to that kind of emptiness on Klaus’s face because even at his worst, Klaus has always been animated. (Except, Diego thinks, for in the car when he was talking about being in love.)

 

Ignoring Klaus might have been an easy habit to keep, but looking at him now Diego knows that it was a mistake. So he steps forward again and rests a hand on Klaus’s shoulder, looks his brother in the eye and says;

 

“We need to talk. All of us, together. I want to help you, Klaus.” It’s not a perfect statement, he almost stutters over the words, but it’s as heartfelt as Diego can make it.

 

Klaus blinks at him with cold eyes and starts to grin.

 

(It’s the kind of grin Diego thinks someone would have before eating the barrel of their gun.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five will probably be up next, which should be a shorter chapter. This chapter ended up a lot longer than I was expecting, which is why I'm posting this version of it, otherwise I'd just keep writing it and becoming less and less satisfied with it.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five used to question a lot of Klaus's decisions. Being alone in the apocalypse helped him understand some things about his brother better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took longer to write than I was expecting, though I will say it might be the chapter I most enjoyed writing. Wanted to post it as soon as I finished, so I'm doing that without checking for any spelling/word errors right now (I'm also like really high right now so I would have no chance of actually spotting any mistakes - which explains the rest of the fic since I've written like 80% of it while stoned.)
> 
> Also fun fact my original thought for this fic was to write a short, simple thing. Eight chapters, maybe about 2000 words a chapter. So we can all see how well that's turned out. (Also University has started back up, so I have less and less time to write so it's taking a bit longer to finish than I was hoping)

FIVE

1994 – AGE 5 YEARS

 

Number Five’s training is meant to be teaching him to jump further and it’s working – he can move across the entire entry hall in only four jumps now. The problem is he’s been thinking about jumping and the way it feels when he jumps that he’ll just be sitting and standing somewhere and then suddenly he’s a few feet away.

 

Most of the time it doesn’t matter, but it’s really tricky during lessons and meal times. Five will be sitting at his desk in the classroom, listening to Dad tell them about history or math or science and then -bam- he’s standing in front of his desk or next to Seven’s desk instead. It always makes Dad stop and start lecturing him on his behavior, insisting that it being an accident means Five needs to work further on his control (which only makes Four think about jumping even more).

 

The desks are lined up in three rows, with Number One, Two and Three in the first row, Four, Five and Six in the second and Seven sitting at the very back of the class behind Five. Personally Five finds this ridiculous because really he should be sitting in the front with Seven and Six since they’re the smartest in the class and then either One or Two could sit at the back. (Two would probably like being at the back cause he always stutters too much to when Dad asked questions and Dad never asks Seven any questions.) Four would need to stay in the middle row, because he’s not dumb but he also doesn’t concentrate or try very hard in class.

 

Sitting next to Four and Six isn’t too bad though, the only downside being when Four tries to whisper to him (always asking him questions about the worksheets instead of just reading them) and they both end up getting in trouble for talking during lessons. Five likes how focused Six is, which is why he likes reading with Six outside of class along with Seven. Dad doesn’t mind them sitting together during study times as long as they focus.

 

Five is sitting at his desk when he feels the urge to jump building under his skin. Sometimes it builds so quickly he can’t do anything about it but then occasionally it’s a slower build up, like a sneeze that he knows is coming but can’t prevent. Dad’s sitting at his desk in silence and they’re all meant to be working quietly. Instead Five closes his eyes and clenches his fists, trying not to jump. A loud screeching noise has his eyes flying open and Five turns his head (he sees everyone else whip their heads around as well) to see Four out of his chair pushing his desk across to Fives.

 

Dad doesn’t say anything, Five’s eyes flick to the front of the room – confirming that Dad is also just watching this unfold. Four pulls his chair over and sits down, in the silence following Four’s actions Five can feel the energy inside him building and as he starts to move Four’s hand reaches over and grabs his. The contact of another person causes the energy to fizzle out (he’s not strong enough to jump with another person or while touching another person yet – Dad says that will come soon, that he should be able to take someone with him some day if he practices hard enough).

 

Five looks at Four in surprise and Four smiles at him, squeezing his hand before looking back down at the worksheet in front of him. Five continues to stare at Four, waiting for a further explanation but he doesn’t pull his hand away from Fours’ since he can still feel the urge to jump just under his skin.

 

“What are you doing?” Five whispers, he glances to the front of the classroom and sees Dad watching both of them.

 

“Helping.” Four says, with a shrug. He’s leaning into Fives’ space, sitting crooked at his desk and Five remembers Four saying it’s still hard for him to hold his arm out straight even though the cast he was wearing has been removed.

 

After a few moments of silence Five glances at Dad, who’s still watching from his desk with the same look on his face that he gets when studying their powers. When Dad continues not to say anything Five looks back at his work, hoping that holding hands in class will continue to go unpunished as long as they focus on learning.

 

For the next few months Four keeps holding his hand, seeming to notice when Five gets fidgety and quiet as he tries not to jump through space. It works to keep him anchored but eventually Five gets his jumping back under control. Four doesn’t stop trying to hold his hand and Five considers telling him to stop but waits. Eventually Dad makes the decision, ordering them to stop their childish hand-holding.

 

Five tries not to show how much he misses holding hands with his brother. Four should do the same, Five thinks, but he never manages to cover up his look of hurt when Five pulls his hand away.

* * *

 

 

1998 – AGE NINE YEARS

 

Five knows there are cameras all over the house, along with other types of recording devices. So he knows trying to sneak around the house without their Dad knowing is almost impossible – but Dad seems to ignore them doing stuff like that, as long as it doesn’t disturb training in anyway.

 

Lately Five’s been practicing jumping to Sevens’ bedroom at night, trying to not end up in the hallway. It’s good practice and it’s nice to be able to talk to Seven at night since Dad sometimes tells her off for distracting him if they talk too much during the day. Five likes getting Seven’s opinion on things, even if she doesn’t have powers she’s level headed in way that Five appreciates (Six is very calm as well but Four tends to hang out around Six, being chaotic).

 

Five focuses on the distance between his room and Sevens’, thinks about where he wants to be and with a faint squeezing sensation and a burst of energy Five finds himself in another room. It takes him less than a second to realize where he is, mostly because he can immediately hear Four talking.  
  
“Please. I know. I’m tired.” Four says, voice not coming from his bed but instead from where Four is standing near the corner of the room. He’s holding a black marker, writing directly on the wall.

 

Five can’t quite make out what the writing says in the dim light room, but he can see that there’s a lot of it. Not all of it written with a black marker either, some of it’s in pen and other colours of markers. It’s the first time Fives noticed the writing though, but then none of them like hanging out in Fours room during free time since it’s always really cold in there.

 

“I don’t know who that is. It’s just – please stop. Please stop screaming.” Four mumbles, holding his hands over his ears. Five flinches in surprise when Four slams his head against the wall, then pulls back to slam his face against the wall. It’s really creepy and Five opens his mouth to call out when Four stops his movements, sighing and holding the marker back up.

 

“Okay. Okay.” Four starts writing again.

 

“Who are you talking to?” Five asks and Four flinches, body jerking forward and his head hitting the wall again before he spins to face him.

 

“Oh. Uh. I’m just – Dad said I shouldn’t ignore them because it doesn’t help me get stronger. I thought maybe if I wrote down what they’re saying they’d stop.” Four glances around the room and Five does the same even though he knows he’s not going to see whatever Four does.

 

“Does it work?” Five asks, he’s always been curious about both Fours’ power since it’s hard to understand when his brother explains what the dead are like.  
  
“...not yet.” Four admits with a shrug, glancing to to his left and muttering “Just – I’m trying to talk...” trailing off as he listens to whatever the spirit is saying. Four lifts his marker again with a sigh and starts to write.

 

“I’ll just -” Five says, gesturing to the door even though he’s not going to leave that away. Instead he makes another jump and finds himself in Sevens’ room this time.

 

He thinks for a moment about telling Seven what he’s just seen, but Five doesn’t really like if people talk about him behind his back so maybe Four doesn’t either. It’s not like Four had told him anyway, he just jumped into his room at the wrong moment. If it’s related to something Dad is making him do then it’s probably best not to mention it. None of them like talking about their private training much and Dad always discourages that kind of discussion.

 

Five doesn’t want to draw Dad’s attention in case he gets banned from jumping to Seven or Six’s rooms at night. That would really suck.

* * *

 

 

2002 – AGE 13 YEARS

 

“What are you doing here?” Five asks, even though it’s pretty obvious. He feels like he asks Klaus what he’s doing an awful lot, in fairness though Klaus tends to do weird things.

 

“Smoking.” Klaus responds, gesturing at the smoke swirling around him with an elaborate wave.

 

Five rolls his eyes. “I can see that. I thought you were only doing that in your room. Not here.”

 

Five looks around the kitchen in emphasis, where he’d walked in to find Klaus reclining on the kitchen table. He walks over to the cupboard, intent on multitasking his way through this conversation so he can at least accomplish something since talking to Klaus these days almost always leads nowhere.

 

“I thought about lighting up in the main room. But Pogo and Dad don’t really come in here anyway and Mom never tells any of us off.” Klaus explains.

 

Five nods in response, setting out slices of bread on the counter top. He grabs the peanut butter and a fresh bag of marshmallows. He waits for a moment and then rolls his eyes as Klaus inevitably asks;

 

“Are you making a snack? Can you make me one too?”

 

“If you answer some questions for me.” Five says, not afraid to blackmail his brother with a sandwich. It’s not really a tactic that would have worked before Klaus started smoking. When they were younger the only thing that had Klaus eating at every meal was the fear of what Dad would do if he didn’t. These days Klaus seems to constantly have the munchies and he’s actually starting to fill out a bit instead of just being an awkward (annoyingly tall) bag of bones.

 

“Okay.” Klaus agrees easily, despite the fact he could make his own sandwich. Actually Five’s not sure Klaus could make a sandwich at this point, since he’s on the table and is still swaying.

 

“What does getting high feel like?” Five asks, spreading peanut butter across the bread. He glances back at Klaus and sees him take a deep drag from his joint, blowing smoke up into the air.

 

“It’s nice. The smoke burns at first. But it makes everything go all floaty. Like everything going real fast and really slow at the same time. It feels relaxing.” The explanation takes a while, Klaus seems to pause every couple of words to take another drag and consider what he’s saying. Five doesn’t feel satisfied by the answer, it’s too simple and boring.

  
“Is that why you keep smoking? Even though it makes you act even stupider than normal.” Five demands, placing the marshmallows in neat lines across the bread.

 

“Jeez, thanks. Really feeling the atmosphere of collegiality that we need to show the press.” Klaus gestures grandly again as he quotes Dad, this time using the hand holding his joint and scattering ash down onto the floor.

 

“That’s not what I meant. You’re not stupid, you just act like you are. It’s annoying.” Five places a sandwich on a plate and turns to push it across the table. He really does find the way Klaus has started acting like he’s dumb annoying (it’s confusing and when things confuse him Five gets annoyed).

 

“Well… being stupid is just better.” Klaus replies, poking at the sandwich Five has made him with a finger. “It’s easier to just not care.”

 

Five sits down with his own sandwich, staring at Klaus in consideration. Klaus finishes the joint, twirling it in his fingers and meeting Fives’ gaze with heavy lidded eyes. Klaus looks away first, glancing down at his plate.

 

“Thanks for the sandwich.” Klaus says.

 

Five doesn’t respond as he watches Klaus take the plate and leave the room. The answer Klaus gave him doesn’t satisfy Five, so he makes a mental note to try talking to Klaus again – preferably when Klaus isn’t high.

* * *

 

2022 – DEAD

 

It’s been a while since he’s found a wine cellar intact and easy to access like this. Last time was over a year ago and after checking it for food Five had left the wine behind, moving on to scavenge elsewhere. This time though, the sight of so many bottles of wine gives him pause.

 

There’s a passage in the book that Vanya wrote, about Klaus disappearing into a haze of drugs and alcohol and how at times she could almost understand the appeal. How she understood how the seductive nature of alcohol and it’s promises to dull pain and blur out the world around him dragged Klaus down into addiction.

 

Five isn’t sure how much time has passed since he landed in the apocalypse – it’s been a few years at least judging by his increasing height and the way hair is starting to grow on his face even though it’s still thin and patchy at this point. (Delores always tells him he looks handsome, but Five is pretty sure it’ll be more genuine once he grows an actual beard and looks more mature.)

 

He grabs a bottle at random, reading the dusty label even though it doesn’t mean anything to him. The bottle of wine is old and it almost makes him laugh to think that it’s the kind of thing Dad would have bought only for Klaus to eventually steal. Vanya did write that Dad’s liquor and wine collection suffered a lot of losses at the hands of Klaus (honestly Five can’t remember ever seeing Dad drink, so at least someone ended enjoyed the expensive booze he used to buy).

 

“What do you think?” Five says, turning to look at Delores who’s sitting on the steps down into the cellar. She seems fairly ambivalent about the alcohol, he might still be under age but it’s not like there’s anyone around to stop him.

 

Five twists the top from the bottle and takes a swig (looking for glasses is a waste and Delores won’t mind sharing). The wine is a deep, red colour and tastes almost sour and heavy on his tongue. Maybe a few years ago he would have found the taste disgusting, but there’s only so many cockroaches you can eat before you stop paying attention to your own taste-buds.

 

He drinks half the bottle in long gulps – excavating and searching the ruins of humanity is thirsty work. Five stops, carrying the bottle and Delores back up out of the cellar so he can have some more light and prepare something to eat. It feels right to at least pair the wine with some sort of food, maybe one of the cans of dog food he’d found stacked in a mostly intact warehouse. (Five still remembers enough about normal social conventions to find the idea of eating dog food paired with an expensive old wine hilarious).

 

Delores is content for Five to place her back down in her cart, and she talks to him softly as Five heats up the can of dog food. He can feel the wine starting to kick in, a fast build of warmth in his body which is no doubt the result of how fast he’s drinking it. The taste is almost becoming pleasant, even if it doesn’t quite go with the dog food as well as he’d been hoping.

 

“I think I get it. There’s something nice about not caring, about letting everything not matter for a while.” Five tells Delores, words slurring slightly and she just smiles at him before suggesting he tells Klaus that.

 

It’s not a new suggestion. For the past few months Delores has been telling Five he should try talking to his siblings sometimes. He knows for a fact that ghosts exist and is it really so hard to believe that his family isn’t following him around. Fives been resisting the idea, but now more than half drunk on red wine it doesn’t sound as silly as it did before.

 

“Klaus… if you’re there.” Five pauses for a moment, not sure of what to say. “I just wanted to say, I get why you didn’t want to be sober. You used to say everything was always so loud and if that’s anything like how bad the silence is, then I understand.”  
  
He takes a deep breath, thinking about maybe saying something to one of his other siblings in case they’re also hanging out around him. (Which seems like it would be a very sad afterlife, being stuck in the apocalypse). The words die in his mouth and Five lifts the bottle again, taking another deep drink. The bottle is close to empty now, the world feels like it’s underwater, the air thick and slow around his body.

 

“This is stupid.” Five tells Delores, avoiding her eye contact as he hefts the near finished bottle of wine and throws it against a nearby ruined building. The glass shatters, the wine spreading in a dark red stain across the wall. “I don’t want to talk to them.”  
  
His statement isn’t quite true and Five knows that Delores can see right through his lies but she doesn’t say anything. He misses his family and the thought of any of them standing near him, unable to say anything to him, just silently observing is almost worse than them being gone. At least Klaus could communicate with the dead, Five can only talk to empty air and imagine them.

 

Delores talks to him about the ocean (she adores the seaside) as Five drifts to sleep, bundled into his bedroll. For the first time in a long time Five sleeps long and deep, lulled into unconsciousness by the wine.

 

In the morning he has a headache and promises himself that he’s never going to drink again. He keeps the promise until later that night, but this time he dances with Delores in his arms instead of talking to the empty air and pretending his siblings are there with him.

* * *

 

2012 – AGE 23 YEARS

 

He’s getting close to working out the right equation, the right moments that he needs to change in order to rip a hole in time to the right moment (he thinks it has something to do with JFK’s death) so of course the Commission is sending him on some random small time mission. That’s the way the Handler phrases it, all the other agents are busy and she knows Five is far too talented to waste on a mission to kill some random woman, Mariana Szalvick, who’s only crime is that she might in the near future interrupt the assassination of someone more important than her. But well, there simply wasn’t anyone else available.

 

Five knows it isn’t really about the woman he’s been sent to kill. It’s about the city, about being so close to so many of his siblings again. They’re testing his loyalty, his commitment to the job, if he deviates at all – well Five knows a team will be sent gunning not only for him but for whatever sibling he talked to. Luckily where he’s been sent is across town from the Academy, (and not close to where he knows his siblings must be at this point- he remembers Vanya’s book. Even if there wasn’t any actual addresses in it Five is a master at extrapolating data).

 

It’s such a minor job that the company hasn’t even arranged a motel room for him, they simply gave him a date and left a silenced pistol waiting for him at one of the many drop off points set up throughout time. As he’s walking down the street towards the apartment building Mariana lives in Five can tell just by glancing at it from a distance that there’s not going to be any security. He wouldn’t call this the worst part of the city, but it’s far from one of the nicer ones. He readjusts his opinion as he walks past the entrance to an alleyway and hears the unmistakable sounds of someone getting the shit beat out of them. Maybe this part of the city is worse than he remembered.

 

He glances down the alley, his eyes drawn by the sounds of someone whimpering and crying, along with the sounds of fists and feet hitting flesh. It looks like two guys with a third person on the ground between them, trying to protect their ribs from one of the guys kicks. Five is about to keep walking, when the figure on the ground throws a hand above their head, trying to block another kick. There’s a familiar umbrella tattoo on the wrist of the person being assaulted and it only takes a second for Five to put together the clues (skinny frame, pale skin, dark curly hair) and recognize Klaus as the man on the ground.

 

Five freezes in place, standing at the entrance to the alley and watching his brother (so much older than when Five last spoke to him – so much younger than when Five last saw him, dead and broken) getting kicked by two random thugs. He instantly knows two things, one this is the kind of beating that’ll land Klaus in hospital and two this is why the Commission have sent him on this boring mission. The Handler must have found out that Klaus would be nearby Mariana’s apartment building on this specific day and that’s why its the date Five has been sent to kill her.

 

This is the test he’s been expecting. There’s no doubt that if he steps in it will in some way affect the future and the Handler will have proof that Fives’ loyalty is compromised. Despite this Five can’t make his feet move, he’s frozen to the spot watching as two men continue to kick his brother, despite it being obvious that Klaus isn’t fighting back. Part of Fives’ brain is screaming at him to do something, but the louder part, pragmatic from years alone in the apocalypse, says he can’t.

 

If the time-line is still currently in tact which is should be then Klaus will be fine after this, he’ll survive and continue living until the world ends (well not if Five can stop it). There were mentions in Vanyas’ book about Klaus having frequent hospital visits, mostly due to drugs but sometimes due to drug deals gone wrong (he knows Vanya well enough to read between the lines and see that she was trying to cover the fact that the altercations where less between dealer and customer and more so customer and prostitute). This is probably one of those times, Five reasons, which makes him wince when he notices that Klaus is wearing a black dress, eyes dark with make up that Five can see even at a distance.

 

He still can’t bring himself to leave, Five stands at the entrance to the alley and watches as the men tire of beating someone who’s not struggling to get away any more. They head down to the other end of the alley, disappearing around the corner. Five watches Klaus pull himself upright, into a sitting position and awkwardly crawl backwards so he can rest against a wall.

 

Klaus is gasping for breath, holding his ribs and letting out shaky sobs. Five raises his foot and almost steps forward into the alleyway but the thought of directly interfering now seems pointless. The worst of it is over and Five has confirmation now that Klaus will survive this attack, even if he’s not making any attempts to leave, probably to sore to attempt standing.

 

“I know...” Klaus whimpers and for a second Five worries his brother has seen him and is calling out. “I know Ben. I just -” The mention of Ben’s name causes Fives’ heart to clench, the reminder of Klaus’s power – the thought that Ben’s ghost is there as well, it almost has Five walking forward again. “I just wanted to wear a nice dress for once.” Klaus finishes his sentence and starts to sob.

 

Five watches Klaus curl further back behind a set of trash cans, clearly hiding in case the men return but still unable to move out of there. A second passes and then Five turns, walking past the alley and towards the entrance to Marianas’ apartment building.

Five goes inside the building and makes his way up to the fifth floor. He opens the door to the apartment and steps inside. Mariana is on the couch, facing the other way listening to music. Five shoots her one in the back of the head with a silenced pistol. He stares at her body for a moment and steps towards a phone on the kitchen counter.

 

He calls an ambulance, directs them to the alleyway next to the apartment building, saying there’s a man who’s been assaulted there. He hangs up and leaves.

 

(Five can wait a few more years before he enacts his plan. This is a fairly minor case of interference unlikely to even make a slight blip in the time line. If there’s any scrutiny over his actions he can play it cool, wait for suspicions to clear until the Handler trusts him again. He has nothing but time.)

* * *

 

2019 – AGE 29 YEARS

 

Five can’t bring himself to look at any of them for long, eyes taking in these bodies that he last saw dead (except for Vanya, but he’d seen her on the sleeve of her book cover). It’s nice to see them moving about and talking, but it’s too much for him to deal with and he’d also forgotten how annoying it can be trying to talk to all of them. It is a reminder of why he much preferred interacting with one or two of his siblings at a time instead of all together.

 

Klaus catches his eye as he gazes quickly around the table, the sight of his outfit reminiscent of the last time Five had seen him, with a dark and flared skirt. It tugs something loose from the feelings that sit like a tangled knot in his chest and Five hears himself say;

 

“Nice dress.” Five mentally berates himself, it’s too obvious and telling a statement. It isn’t even a dress, Klaus is clearly in a skirt and since when did he ever show an interest in fashion, clearly this going to raise questions about his behavior -

 

“Oh, well danke.” Klaus thanks him and doesn’t seem to give it a second thought.

 

Five keeps talking, keeps a rapid pace going for the rest of the conversation. There’s not a lot he can say right now, he needs to get his bearings and work out a plan for discovering how the apocalypse happens. He also just needs to leave, needs to get clean and dressed in something better fitting but mainly he just needs to get away from all of them. It’s more of struggle to look at them and not immediately picture the sight of them dead and buried under the rubble of the academy.

 

The funeral is every bit the disaster Five expects, Luther and Diego never could resist the urge to fight each other (it’d be comforting to see the petty childish squabbles still happen but with them both as adults and the knowledge of what’s happening in eight days it’s just another thing that pisses Five off.)

 

He tries talking to Vanya first, a part of him still wanting to cling to the closeness they’d had as children, even though it’s been so long for both of them now since they last saw each other. The problem is she still sees him as a child, as the same brother he was when he left. Five understands why, the not looking older than thirteen thing is already old, maybe if he was physically older she’d take him more seriously but Five doesn’t have time to do anything about it.

 

When he finds himself needing help because of the physically thirteen thing again, Five seeks out Klaus. It’s pragmatism because he’s read Vanyas’ book, he understands enough about addiction these days to know that Klaus would probably do anything for money. At the same time though, it’s the memory of how Klaus was always the easiest to convince to go along with a prank or a dare, how back in the day Klaus would have agreed just to conspire with one of his siblings instead of just for $20.

 

There’s a part of Five that thinks Klaus would make a good agent at the Commission. He’s unpredictable, a chaotic force that leaves others feeling unbalanced, he can be unnerving and creepy when he wants to be and he would no doubt be able to surprise his enemies. Deep down though Klaus has always been gentle, the easiest to beat in combat training simply because lacks a certain violent instinct. (Though after the punch and the snow-globe Five might have to reconsider Klaus’s aptitude for violence.)

 

The drugs have certainly left Klaus addle brained, the brother Five remembers might have made a joke but he would have taken the end of the world seriously. He still considers completely confiding in Klaus about everything. As soon as Five finds himself saying Delores, he realizes he needs to find her, obviously he needs her advice since she’s always been so reliable.

 

When he comes across Klaus in the dumpster outside the academy Five isn’t surprised, and resolves not to say anything. He can’t help himself, pausing for a moment to banter back and forth with Klaus. It’s an old habit but one that is surprisingly not gone, Ben had called Five and Klaus the sarcastic jerks of the family (which apparently a life time doesn’t change) and they used to amuse themselves by exchanging friendly mean comments with each other. Five doesn’t let himself enjoy it for long, Delores is whispering from the bag about how i _t’s lovely to see him with a family member but there’s important things to do, dear_. Five shuts it down with a slightly cruel comment about Klaus’s drug habit and leaves, wanting to actually get somewhere with stopping the apocalypse instead of being distracted by his brothers and sisters.

 

He doesn’t mean to be cruel when he yells at Klaus about the briefcase, because clearly something fucked up has happened with the blood and the dog tags but he’s just found out that the briefcase is gone. Knowing that all Hazel and Cha-Cha know is that his brother has the briefcase gives Five an idea, which Klaus manages to interrupt again, this time with Diego and an ice-cream van of all things.

 

Saving the world is turning out to be about as difficult as Five was expecting (he’s a realist, he knew it was going to be a bitch but he was hoping his family would be more help than they’re being). If he can ignore a shrapnel wound until it literally puts him on the floor then he can be excused for expecting his siblings to ignore their emotional problems for a few days.

 

When the world is ending though, Five can’t bring himself to leave any of them behind. It would make more sense to go back in time alone, he knows he can send himself back and he’s never tried moving so many people through time. But as annoying and dysfunctional as they are, the entire reason he’s done anything for the last 45 years was in order to save them and he’s not giving up now. He reaches deep inside himself, harnessing as much power as he can and looks around at all of them – he clings to them, wrapping his power around each of them.

 

And then everything goes bright.

* * *

 

2002 – AGE 12 YEARS

 

“Decided against sobriety then?” Five asks, leaning against the doorway that leads into the kitchen. It’s an odd moment of deja vu, walking in on Klaus sprawled on the kitchen table with a joint hanging from his lips and a bottle of whisky (to cheap looking to be from Dad’s stash) in his hand. Of course last time was when they were both a year older physically and mentally so many years younger, but it still feels familiar – like no time has past.

 

“After the whole distracting Dad thing, it didn’t seem worth it to go back.” Klaus says with a shrug, holding up the bottle and tipping it in Fives’ direction like a lazy salute.

 

Five knows it’s not as simple as that. Addiction is a tricky thing even with time travel sending them back to younger, cleaner bodies – their brains still felt the effects of the years they’d lived. Otherwise Five wouldn’t be constantly craving coffee and eyeing the bottle in Klaus’s hand the way he is (Delores was wrong about him having a problem with alcohol, though Five can admit it’s only living in the apocalypse meant he didn’t have a constant source of booze).

 

“You could train your powers.” Five suggests. He’s been doing a lot of that himself, in between helping Vanya work on her powers. It’s tricky right now, with him and Ben being the only two siblings Vanya can stand to be around without giving into feelings of grief, guilt or fear – Allison is the only other one that Vanya seeks out on her own.

 

“Nah. Ben’s alive again, so there’s not really any ghosties that I want to see or summon.” Klaus says, voice catching on the lie.

 

Klaus hasn’t told Five about Dave, but he overheard Ben’s argument about Klaus falling back into old habits and there was enough there to work out that Klaus had lost someone special. It makes Five think about Delores, about loosing a part of himself and the one person who always understood how he felt.

 

“Well. Pass me the bottle.” Five says, sitting down at the table. A look of surprise flashes across Klaus’s face, but he hands over the bottle easily enough. Five takes a swig and rolls his eyes at the taste of cheap liquor. He keeps drinking anyway, downing a quarter of the bottle in long swallows before passing it back to Klaus. “Why are you drinking this shit?”  
  
“Daddy dearest is keeping a closer eye on all his alcohol. Not to mention the fact I broke a lot of the bottles during my little performance.” Klaus says with a giggle. “Thankfully I know someone willing to supply me with alcohol and drugs.” He lifts the joint from his mouth and breaths out a cloud of smoke at Five.

 

When they were children the first time round that would have disgusted Five but this time he just makes a grabbing motion until Klaus passes it to him. Five lifts the joint to his lips and takes a deep drag in. A second passes and he starts to cough, feeling Klaus pull the joint from his fingers.

“Easy. Easy. Breath slow and steady, like this.” Klaus takes another drag from the joint before passing it back.  
  
Five goes slower this time, more careful as he pulls the acrid smoke into his lungs. He fights back the urge to cough but still splutters a bit when he breathes out a cloud of smoke. Klaus laughs and hands him the bottle which Five takes some more swigs from. They sit there in silence, Five ignoring the eager, amused way Klaus is watching him.

 

It doesn’t take long for Five to feel the effects. He feels like everything is going fuzzy around the edges, not blurry in the way he associates with alcohol but like the world is just a little softer and warmer. The main difference he notices though is the tangle of emotions that always seems to be sitting in his chest eases just a little.  
  
Five sighs, slumping in his seat and leaning to rest his arms on the table. He doesn’t even care that Klaus is still laughing at him – he almost wants to start laughing as well.  
  
“You’re looking relaxed.” Klaus tells him, handing the now dwindling joint back. “I’m not surprised. I’d argue you and Vanya are probably the ones who could use a prescription for anxiety. If it was the future and legal again, that is.”

 

“I never tried this. Not a lot grows in the apocalypse. Definitely not any marijuana plants.” Five admits. He doesn’t add that there was opportunities when he joined the Commission, more for cocaine than weed (he swears all the office workers are high out of their minds, too happy and cheery and energetic) but that he was too focused on his plan and needed a level head.

 

“Ugh, just another bad sounding thing about the apocalypse. Everyone’s dead and not even any weed.” Klaus clicks his tongue in a way that has Five wanting to laugh. He covers the urge by taking another hit, trying not to feel disappointed when Klaus has the last drag and puts the joint out on a nearby tea saucer. He isn’t successful, judging by the smirk Klaus gives him (Five normally prides himself on his self-control, it’s weird not to know for certain what his face is doing).

 

“Mmm. There was plenty of alcohol though.” Five takes another drink from the bottle to illustrate his point and notices that the bottle is a lot emptier than he thought it would be. Time seems to be getting away from him, the idle thought has Five bursting into laughter that’s more like childish giggles than he wants to admit.

 

“Yeah, could have guessed that from how you know your way around a bottle.” Klaus is still smirking at him, and he makes some a gesture like he’s jerking off the bottle and Five looses his fight against the urge to laugh again.

 

Klaus suddenly throws his body back, till his arms and head are dangling down, Fives view of them blocked by the opposite side of the table. Klaus sits back up moments later, holding a messenger bag (one of seven identical, leather bags they almost never used at this age since they almost never left the academy). Klaus opens the bag and holds aloft another bottle (an equally crappy looking vodka), he raises his eyebrow in a silent question and Five finds himself nodding without thinking.

 

He takes the bottle from Klaus and cracks it open, drinking straight from the bottle again. While Five drinks Klaus conjures another joint from somewhere – Five isn’t able to see where it comes from, it’s like he blinks and suddenly Klaus has another one in his hand (the thought that it might be another of his brothers powers, the ability to summon weed at will sets Five off another fit of laughter).

 

“Wow. Would have thought you’d be the chatty, philosophical type of stoned. Not the giggly smiley type.” Klaus says, lighting the joint with a smooth flick of a lighter. Five shrugs, not sure what to say to explain there’s less tension in his body right now, a lesser awareness of everything that is happening in the room all at once. He’s not thinking about shadows and about all the weapons he could grab around the kitchen. Five thinks Klaus probably understands without him saying any of it any way.

 

Five thinks about climbing up onto the table with Klaus, since reclining on the surface is looking comfortable right now. It seems like too much effort to move his body though so he focuses on the space next to Klaus and pulls at his power. It’s more difficult to access through the haze of smoke and alcohol in his brain but Five manages it since the jump is small and he’s got experience jumping under worse circumstances. Klaus seems to startle slightly at Five appearing next to him, but he doesn’t comment on it, he just hands the joint to Five and takes back the bottle.

 

Time passes as they drink and smoke in a comfortable silence, broken by occasionally laughter. When the joint runs out Five half expects Klaus to pull out another, but he doesn’t. Five finds himself pouting at Klaus and normally that would horrify him but right now it doesn’t seem so bad.

 

“Wow. You’re eager. That wasn’t even good weed.” Klaus tells him, gesturing around the room and disturbing the remaining traces of smoke. “None of the good dealers I knew sell to kids this young though. The only one I could remember who does only sells kids his poor quality shit, but he’s the kind of creep who gives me a discount cause I flutter my eyelashes at him.” Klaus screws up his face in disgust.

 

“That kind of creep.” Five echoes. (He thinks of the Handler for a moment, the increase in flirting and friendliness that occurred only once he was in his younger body – giving him certain suspicious about her having preferences for much much younger men.)

 

“Yeah. It’s useful though. Might be able to convince him to sell me better, harder stuff soon though.” Klaus looks at Five for a long moment, passing the bottle back to him and just watching as Five takes some more sips. “I did get some fun pills though, did a little pick-pocketing of a guy who really didn’t need any more. Practically a public service.” Klaus is rambling, voice oddly soothing to Five who’s starting to feel kind of sleepy. He focuses back on what Klaus is saying and hears “… if you want one. I don’t normally share.”

 

It takes Five a moment to work out that Klaus is offering to share more of his drugs with him. In any other family that would probably be horrifying, instead of horror Five feels oddly touched by the offer. It’s a bad idea, taking drugs from Klaus, but the hopeful way Klaus is looking at him makes it seem a little less like it would end in inevitable disaster. Five opens his mouth, not entirely sure what he’s going to say.

 

“Number Four. Number Five. What is the meaning of this?” A loud, familiar voice demands from the doorway. Five glances over to see their Dad standing there, looking angrier than Five can remember ever seeing him. Dad normally defaults to cold disappointment and this anger is so out of character that Five can feel laughter bubbling in his chest and can’t do anything to stop it spilling past his lips.

 

“We’re having a party. Just me and Five here. Unfortunately you’re not invited Reggie.” Klaus says, launching himself from the table in a fluid move that Five wouldn’t expect from him considering how high and drunk he is.

 

Five keeps laughing at the shock on Dad’s face as Klaus swans up to the man, swaying and moving like he’s dancing to music only he can hear. Klaus waves up at Dad, grinning and mouthing ‘bye bye’. It happens so fast that Five doesn’t even see Dad raise his hand. The sound of the slap across echoes in the kitchen, Fives’ laughter dying in his throat. Klaus crumples to the floor, looking up at Dad with shock on his face (lip split where Dad’s hand must have landed). Five knows he looks just as shocked as Klaus does.

 

Changing the time line can lead to surprising outcomes, but Five wasn’t expecting one of outcomes to be Dad actually hitting one of them. His abuse had always been so cold and distant the first time around. For a moment his brain tells him to make a jump, grab a knife and jump again, it'll be easy to reach one of the arteries in Dad's neck. Unfortunately the death of Sir Reginald Hargreeves would be a massive blip in the time line, alerting the Commission to their actions.

So Five just watches as Klaus picks himself back up and smiles up at Dad with blood across his teeth. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's commented, I love reading your opinions and your thoughts about what might happen next and how it all fits together. Of course chapter 8 (and possibly 9 chapters depending on how long it gets) will involve a whole lot of answers from Klaus's POV - which will clear things up but probably make a lot of stuff even more depressing than it is. So tha should be fun.


	6. Vanya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were moments where Vanya and Klaus could have formed a connection. Unfortunately it never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo.... this took me a while to write. Had a bunch of stuff going on and was going to post this yesterday but then I got a migraine so here have it now. 
> 
> Wanted to let you all know that I love reading all the comments people have been leaving. It's really helping me stay motivated. 
> 
> You might notice there's no 2002 - Age 12 Years Again section in this chapter. That's cause Vanya is going to get a POV bit set in 2002 during Klaus's chapter - so feel free to guess at what that means in terms of structuring.

VANYA

 

1998 – AGE 8 YEARS

 

Number Seven doesn’t like thunderstorms. The noise of the thunder always drowns out everything else, building and building inside her head until she’s drowning in it, her entire body shaking with every loud burst of sound. For some reason it always makes her feel cold and alone, like the entire world is just a dark room and the thunder is the only noise that exists.

 

She thinks she used to like storms, before she became so nervous and had to start taking her medication – though Dad says her being afraid of storms is a sign she needs to keep taking her medication. (She doesn’t remember feeling particularly nervous or anxious before the medication but it must be working because she feels less of everything now.)

 

There’s a loud crack of thunder outside and Seven whimpers, shoving her face into her pillow. It’s not yet bedtime but she’s already curled up under her blankets, trying to hide from that’s been raging all day. The wind howls past her bedroom window, sounding like screaming and the rain isn’t falling in pleasant pitter-patter, it’s crashing down against the window like there’s a waterfall outside the glass.

 

A flash of lightning further illuminates the room and a split second later the thunder booms, echoing through her bedroom as though it’s inside the very walls. Seven can’t help the whimpering scream she lets out, muffling it against her pillow and with her face pressed into the pillow Seven stops holding back her tears. It feels right to cry during the storm, like she’s crying along with the sky, like the whole world is upset instead of just her.

 

Seven hears someone crashing down the hallway, shoes slapping against the floor and she doesn’t have time to wipe away her tears before her bedroom door is thrown open. She jolts in surprise – it’s rare for anyone to just burst into her room (other than Five and he tends not to use the door any more). The sudden intrusion is a little less surprising when she looks up to see Four standing there, wide grin on his face that starts to fade as he looks at Seven’s tear streaked face.

  
“What’s wrong?” Four asks, moving further inside and holding out a hand like he wants to touch Seven. The hand falls after a moment but Four continues to creep close.

  
“Nothing.” Seven says, sniffling and rubbing her hand under her nose. “What do you want?”

 

A loud clap of thunder causes her to flinch, a whine leaving her throat and Four frowns, staring out the window and then back at her like he’s putting something together. There’s another bright flash and thunder cracks across the sky, but Seven tenses and doesn’t flinch.

 

“Dad let us out of training early cause Five jumped behind One and gave him a wedgie.” Four says in a rush and Seven understands why he’s hear, he loves being the first tell her if anything funny happens in training. (Ben and Five always tell her about the important stuff but Four is the one who tells about stuff like Two tripping over or Three accidentally farting in the middle of a stretch). Seven rubs her nose again and lets out a soft giggle, imagining the expression on One’s face (probably a mix of pain and confusion) and on Fives’ (an amused smirk). She swallows her giggle as another burst of thunder has her jumping and letting out a whimper.

 

“Are you – are you scared of thunderstorms?” Four asks and Seven looks down at her blanket in embarrassment. There’s silence for a long moment and then Seven hears her bedroom door being shut again and the sound of Four’s feet slapping against the floor as he runs back down the hallway.

 

Seven doesn’t stop the sob that’s building in her chest this time. She pulls the blanket back over her head and tries not to picture how Four must be running back to their siblings to tell them about how she’s crying in her room because of a little thunder. If it wasn’t for the storm raging outside she would probably be able to hear them all laughing even from her room.

 

At least the thunder and rain outside means that they won’t be able to hear her crying. Seven tugs the blanket even tighter over her head, feeling her tears splatter against the pillow. She’s not sure how much time passes, it’s too easy to get lost in the way the storm makes her heart race with fear and how her head already feels achy from crying.

 

The door opens again, a barely audible creak under the wind and rain. Seven tenses, half expecting to hear the sound of her siblings laughing at how much of a baby she is. Instead she hears a single set of footsteps and then feels a hand resting on her blanket, tugging at it. Seven blinks at the sudden light and then in confusion at the sight of Four leaning over her bed, rain dripping down his body, his hair flat against his head and his clothes clinging water tight to his body. His hair is already starting to curl at the edges in the way Dad hates, claiming it looks messy and insisting Four use pomade to flatten his hair down.

 

“Here.” Four holds out his hand, offering Seven a bunch of flowers clearly plucked from the garden outside. The flowers are dripping water as well, droplets catching the light and making the bright purple petals almost glow. Seven hesitantly reaches out and takes the flowers, feeling a little better when Four gives her a wide grin. “Also...” Four adds, pulling out a damp looking walkman from his pocket. “Don’t worry, I didn’t take it outside in the rain. It should still work.”

  
Four dumps the walkman on her bed, still grinning as she tentatively reaches out to take it. Seven puts the headphones on, pressing play on the cassette player and music instantly muffles the sounds of the storm raging outside. Seven grips the wet flowers in her hand and closes her eyes, relaxing against the bedding as she focuses on the music instead of the thunder.

 

When she opens her eyes again Four has already left the room, door closed behind him. She settles into her bed, deciding to thank Four in the morning. When she goes down to breakfast though, Four isn’t there and Pogo explains his absence as a special training trip with their Dad. Seven tries to focus on how nice Four was last night and blocks out her instinctive jealousy that comes with the mention of training sessions and her siblings powers.

* * *

 

2001 – AGE 12 YEARS

 

“I don’t want a stupid name. I like being Number Five.” Five grumbles at Mom, voice pitched deeper than normal but Seven can still hear the childish whine in her favourite brother’s voice that threatens to come out. (Five is trying to sound more grown-up these days, whispering his hopes of Dad letting him time travel soon to her at night when he sneaks into her room so they can talk.)

 

“Your Father asked me to give you all names for your birthday, dear.” Mom responds in her pleasant, calming voice – soothing and sweet like the birds that dart around the garden in springtime. “Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus and Ben all seem happy with their names.”

Five grimaces, stabbing at his bowl of oatmeal with a spoon. Seven tries to understand why Five wouldn’t want a name (having a name seems like it would be amazing – Allison already looks so happy over hers). This is one of those time where whatever Five is thinking is a mystery, normally she’s able to work out what’s bothering him but this time he just seems irrationally annoyed.

 

Seven glances at her other siblings, watching them pour over a book of names (at least Allison, Ben, Diego and Luther are paging through it, while Klaus is slumped in his seat, head resting on the table) searching for their new names.  
  
“Here it is, it says it means ‘Army People’...” Allison’s voice cries out and Luther's expression settles into a frown.

 

Seven jumps in her seat, attention back on Five as he slams the hand holding his spoon against the table. Little droplets of milk and oatmeal splash across the wooden surface and Mom is already moving to grab a dishcloth to wipe up the mess.  
  
“’Army People’. Like – like a soldier?” Luther asks. “That’s cool.”

“It’s not cool. Luther is a dumb name.” Diego insists. “Diego is a cool name.” (Seven’s pretty sure that Diego would say that about any name Mom could have given him.)

“Should I just be Ben or should it be short for something. Like Benjamin or Benedict?” Ben asks, sounding anxious about the difference between just being ‘Ben’ or having a longer name.

“Don’t call him dumb Two- I mean Diego.” Allison’s voice bursts out, defensive.

“I said his name was dumb. It’s a dumb name.” Diego protests back.  
  
Seven can hear the cover of the book start to tear, she doesn’t have to look to know that it’s being pulled apart – probably by Allison and Diego as they argue about Luther’s name. She keeps her eyes on Five and Mom though, more curious about Five’s potential name than Diego trying to wind up Luther and Allison.

  
“I already selected a name for you, though if you want you pick one for yourself.” Mom offers, wiping the table in quick, even strokes.  
  
“I don’t want a name!” Five says through grit teeth, his voice almost breaking in the middle of his sentence. Seven winces at the sudden rise in volume, and across the table from her she can see Klaus do the same, head still pressed against the table.

 

“Benedict like eggs Benedict?” Luther asks.  
  
“No I mean like… like Benedict Arnold.” Ben says.

 

“Oh. Do you like Benedict Arnold?” The confusion in Luther’s voice is clear without Seven having to turn to see his expression, even over Allison and Diego’s frantic, whispering argument about ripping the book.

 

“Your Father asked me to give the six of you names.” Mom is repeating for what seems like the hundredth time, continuing to ignore Five’s grumpiness.

“Stop pulling it. You’ll rip it more.” Allison angrily hisses.  
  
“You’re reading too slow. I want to look at my name.” Diego whispers back.

 

“I already have a name, it’s Five.” Five bangs his hand against the table again, punctuating his statement.

 

“Five is a number not a name silly.”

 

“It’s my name.” Five shouts out, finally giving up on his attempts to be stoic.

 

“OH GOD. CAN EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP?” Klaus screams, sitting upright with his hands over his ears. Everything falls silent following his outburst, Seven can see everyone turning to look at Klaus, Allison dropping the book onto the table in surprise.  
  
Klaus’s face is red, eyebrows drawn together in a grimace as he squints around the table at everyone. Seven can see him shaking in his seat, almost the same as he does when he eats too much sugar but there’s no trace of a smile on his face.

 

“Just… Luther's’ name suits him Diego, Allison just tell Diego what his name means already. Ben – Ben is fine, it’s nice and short. Mom -” Klaus pauses for a moment, taking deep breathes that Seven can hear as Klaus glances between her, Five and Mom. (Six, Ben now, always jokes that you can see what Klaus is thinking by just looking at his face but Seven thinks Four – Klaus is just as much of a mystery as Five is some days.) “Just give Seven a name. Then six of us have names, like Dad said. It’s not like it matters anyway.”

 

Klaus stands and stomps out the room, ignoring the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. Seven stares after him, not sure what to do but Mom is already looking at her intently now instead of Five.

 

“Would you like a name, Number Seven?” Mom asks, in a curious tone.

 

Seven swallows, glancing at Five who nods at her with his eyebrows raised. At the encouragement Seven nods as well, smile spreading across her face as Mom moves to take the baby name book back from Allison.

* * *

 

2005 – AGE 15 YEARS

 

Klaus seems to run on a mix of sugary treats, drugs, alcohol and pure willpower these days, but it doesn’t occur to Vanya that she hasn’t seen him do more than pick at any meal until he’s pulling of his shirt. She hears Dad tut under his breath as Klaus steps onto the scales and Vanya carefully writes down the weight.

 

Normally Mom is the one who assists Dad and takes notes during the quarterly physicals, but Mom’s been offline for a few days – as Dad ‘updates’ her, whatever that means. (Vanya hears Diego whispering to Ben about the ‘update’, every day without Mom he becomes more convinced that Dad is changing her completely.)

 

“Your BMI is unsatisfactory, Number Four. You need to increase your caloric intake.” Dad says, and Vanya carefully makes a note of his feedback in Klaus’s file.  


Klaus raises his eyebrows and points his thumb towards his chest, like he’s asking ‘who me’ in response to Dad’s statement. Vanya doesn’t think it’s genuine surprise, Klaus must know how skinny he’s gotten with between the lack of appetite and his latest growth spurt. (Lately Vanya has been thinking that she’s doomed to have all her siblings tower over her, literally overshadowing her instead of just metaphorically.)

 

Dad attaches a set of electrodes to Klaus’s chest, motioning for him to step onto the treadmill. Klaus almost goes tumbling off as Dad doesn’t wait for him to find his footing, hitting start as soon as he sets a foot on the tread. Vanya carefully fills in the numbers that light up on the display, keeping track of how Klaus’s heart rate increases as he runs.

 

Vanya isn’t sure how Klaus performs compared to a normal, untrained teenager but when she compares his numbers to their other siblings it’s obvious that Klaus is less healthy than them (he’s always been scrawnier than Luther and Diego anyway, long and lean instead of muscular). Dad bangs his cane against the floor, the loud noise making both Vanya and Klaus flinch.

 

“Faster Number Four.” Dad demands, changing the settings on the machine and Klaus almost falls, unsteady from flinching.  
  
Sweat is already starting to pour off Klaus’s body and his face flushed but the rest of his body pale like milk. Vanya has no idea what Klaus is thinking, one second he’s just panting with exertion as he runs and the next she hears his breath catch in what becomes a burst of laughter.

 

“This is a serious matter Number Four.” The tone of Dad’s voice is enough to make Vanya flinch – it’s cold and sharp like a knife. She wishes Klaus would stop laughing, since Dad’s already angry with him over his behavior in public and he’ll only get angrier if Klaus doesn’t take this seriously.

 

Klaus keeps laughing though, even when one of his laugh turns into him gagging and he has to grab at the front of the treadmill to keep from falling off. Vanya realizes she’s not been paying attention to the heart rate display and looks back at the number, jotting them down. In the brief moment her eyes are off Klaus he must trip because the next thing she knows, he’s on the floor looking up at her and Dad.

 

He’s still laughing and gagging. The sight of his wild eyes, tears streaking down his now pale face is shocking enough that Vanya tries to take a step back. At the movement though Klaus’s hand shoots out, grabbing at her ankle. She glances down at his hand, noticing in a distant way that his nails are painted green, a color close to how Klaus’s eyes used to look before the pills turned them into empty pools of black.

 

“Hey there sis, working hard or hardly working?” Klaus wheezes out, body still shaking with laughter as Dad shakes his head. Klaus must notice Dad’s look of disappointment (more obvious than normal) and for a moment his grip on her ankle gets tighter.

“Number Seven, make a note that Number Four is banned from missions until such a time as his stamina improves. Until then extra training sessions will be needed. If his caloric intake remains low I can arrange a feeding tube, unless he decides he’d rather eat like a civilised person.” Dad sweeps from the room, not bothering to observe Klaus’s reaction to his statement.

 

Vanya writes the note down and waits to see if Klaus is going to say anything to her. The silence is broken only by his harsh inhales. She thinks for a moment about saying something but Klaus has brought Dad’s attention down on himself and she’s not in a position to do anything to reassure him.

 

And Klaus hadn’t said anything back when Dad announced Vanya was being moved to a new room, a smaller one further from the others, with her old room being combined into Klaus’s. Ignoring Klaus right now only seems fair, when he had ignored her distress and simple seemed excited to have a bigger room. Maybe she’ll feel guilty about it later and if she does then she’ll apologize, but for now Vanya pulls her leg away from Klaus’s grasp and leaves the room.

* * *

 

2012 – AGE 23 YEARS

 

“ _Mom would never reject any of us for any wrongdoing – but it was like she just wouldn’t notice things that Dad didn’t like and would treat the mention of them like something silly. Klaus often caught the brunt of this, Mom throwing away his make-up and skirts simply because they ‘were for girls, not boys, sweetie’. No disapproval in her tone just syrupy happiness and a lack of understanding that wouldn’t go away no matter how much Klaus asked for his nail polish back. It was the same with the drinking and the drugs – Mom would throw away any illicit substances she found but she wouldn’t say a word about him being high or drunk. Happily, helpfully oblivious to anything that didn’t fit Dad’s ideal and Klaus seemed determined to reject that ideal._

 

_None of us ever said anything for or against the way Klaus was treated. None of us argued with Mom or helped Klaus get his things back. It was like the drinking and the drugs, I think all of us thought it was Klaus’s way of crying for attention, that he dressed like that hoping to Dad would say something about it. Giving him attention would only encourage him and none of us wanted him to irritate Dad in case we got caught in the crossfire. He stopped dressing up as much when he was at home and I think we all just assumed he had stopped completely– until the night of his first OD, a week after Ben’s death...”_

 

Vanya pauses and stares at what she’s just typed. Buying the old typewriter was a whim, but now using it she’s finding herself remembering so many details from her childhood. It’s so strange to think of that night, of Klaus stumbling into the main hall wearing a sequin speckled top and a leather miniskirt that’s origins Vanya had never discovered.

 

Her fingers hover over the keys, wondering how to put that night into words. The weird anxiety they had all felt over possibly loosing a third brother, and then the anger that had settled over all of them once they found out Klaus would be fine – as they asked themselves how dare Klaus do this to them with his own recklessness. (It was easier to use anger to distract themselves from how sad and empty the house felt without Ben.)

 

It’s weird to think that it was only six years ago. The way they had acted seems so childish now, and Vanya can’t help the curl of guilt in her stomach that appears when she wonder where Klaus is now. Writing about everything is bringing up so many old emotions and writing Klaus’s chapter is proving particularly confusing. She was never close with Klaus but there’s so many little moments they had that seem like they could have lead to a closer relationship and instead they remained strangers under the same roof.

 

Vanya glances at the clock and reaches for her pill bottle. It’s a little early but she needs to quell the anxiety bubbling under her skin if she wants to continue writing about Klaus. There’s a part of her that thinks it’s fitting that his chapter is the one pushing her to slightly abuse her medication. She takes a sip of water with the pill and tries to collect her thoughts, picturing the sitting in the main room, staring at Five’s portrait when the front doors swung open with a loud bang…

 

The phone rings, pulling her from her thoughts and Vanya sighs. The only people who call at this time are telemarketers (the only people who call her at all are telemarketers) but she gets up to answer it anyway.

  
“Hello, this is Vanya Hargreeves speaking.” Vanya says down the receiver, clearing her throat slightly. She wonders if this is the first time she’s spoken all day – she went to buy groceries that morning but she can’t remember if she spoke to anyone at all.

 

“Hey.” It’s Klaus’s voice. Soft and quieter than when she heard it last but Vanya would recognize the way any of her siblings sound in a heartbeat. “Can you – can you pick me up?”

 

“I don’t have a car.” Vanya says, blankly as she struggles to overcome her surprise at Klaus calling her at right this moment.  
  
“I don’t – look I just need someone to come to the hospital and sign me out. They won’t let me leave. They keep saying I have a concussion.” Klaus’s voice gets more animated and she can hear the whine in his voice, can picture him giving Mom puppy-dog eyes in an attempt to get another cookie. “Normally I’d call Diego but… well, Diego isn’t very happy with me right now.”

 

Klaus giggles, the sound echoing oddly through the phone and Vanya glances at her typewriter again. She can’t help but think about some of the things she’s already written about Klaus and it’s guilt (and concern) that makes her reply;

 

“Okay. I’ll get a taxi to the hospital.” At the very least seeing Klaus again might give her something else to add to the book and at the best maybe this is a chance to improve their relationship.

 

“Thank you. Thank you! I have to hang up now. The nurse is looks pissed.” Klaus hangs up moments later.

 

As she’s calling a taxi it occurs to Vanya that she has no idea how Klaus knew her phone number. It’s another mystery she’ll have to ask about, along with why exactly he has a concussion. Hopefully Klaus will be in the mood to tell her the truth, instead of dancing around topics and deflecting with ill-timed jokes.

 

Halfway through the taxi ride she feels her medication kick in, her emotions fading a little and her anxiety easing. She’s still nervous but its her normal level of nervousness, instead of feeling like her skin wants to vibrate off of her body and head wants to collapse in on itself.

 

Even with her feelings easing she still struggles to think of what she’ll say to Klaus – but that’s normal as well. It’s been a long time (since Five left) since she’s known what to say to any of her siblings. It will be awkward but she owes it to Klaus to make an effort. She owes it to her brother who brought her music and flowers during thunderstorms to make the effort to reconnect, even if they’ve never been close.

 

At the hospital she asks after Klaus and is directed towards the ER (her anxiety spikes again at the thought of Klaus being brought in by an ambulance instead of just wondering after a minor head injury). Ambulances and Klaus, it brings her back to that night again, Dad sending Klaus off in the back of one stating they don’t have the time to treat a problem Klaus caused for himself. Seeing Dad treat her brothers brush with death like an inconvenience even after loosing two sons already (it confirmed a lot of her suspicions about how Dad views even her super powered siblings.)

 

An ER Nurse makes a sour face when she asks after Klaus and Vanya cringes back slightly. Klaus seems correct about a nurse being angry at him, but the nurse still points her towards a bed with the curtains around it drawn shut. She assumes the curtains are to shield other patients from the full force of Klaus’s personality but when Vanya slips inside them she realises they might be shut in order to give Klaus a little privacy.

 

Klaus’s eyes are shut and he doesn’t seem to notice her standing there so Vanya takes a moment to look at her brother. He doesn’t look good, there’s bruising down the side of his face and one of his arms is curled close to his body, hanging in a cloth sling. He’s clearly been crying, eyeliner and mascara smears down his face. The dress he’s wearing is smeared with dirt and patches of drying blood and bandages are stuck along exposed areas of his too pale skin. Somehow he looks thinner than she remembers and he had already looked like a strong breeze would knock him over.

 

Vanya steps closer to the bed, her footsteps sounding so loud despite the noises echoing through the ER around them. Klaus’s eyes shoot open and there’s a moment where he just stares blankly ahead of him, eyes cloudy with tears before he notices her and does a double take. Vanya wonders if he’s surprised that she’s there, even though she said she would come.  
  
“Oh, hi.” Klaus says, voice ringing with forced cheer. He smiles at her and then winces, raising a hand to touch at his split lip like he forgot it was bruised and bleeding.

 

“Klaus – what happened?” Vanya asks, reaching out for a moment and letting her hand hover awkwardly over his. If Klaus notices her hand he doesn’t acknowledge it, instead he glances away from her to the chair next to the bed, fingers gripping and pulling at the sheet on the hospital bed.

 

“Nothing. A disagreement.” His lips twitch like he wants to frown but his face remains tight with false happiness. “I thought I looked good, but there’s critics everywhere.” Klaus gestures at his outfit and then upwards at his face, rolling his eyes like it’s all a joke. Vanya almost misses the way he looks at her from under his lashes for a moment, like he’s begging her to read between the lines and not ask any more questions.  


“Your hair does look good.” Vanya responds, watching tension ease from Klaus’s body as she doesn’t pursue the topic further. She wishes she could compliment something else, but right now his hair is the only thing that looks good (longer than she’d ever seen it before, falling around his face in chaotic curls), everything else just looks a little broken and sad – from his eyes to his torn and muddied dress.

“Thanks.” Klaus says, giving her a smile that still looks brittle but a little warmer than his last one. He shifts on the bed and winces, the arm not in a sling coming up to wrap around his abdomen.  
  
“Are you okay?” Vanya asks, flushing as the words leave her mouth. She feels a little foolish because clearly Klaus isn’t okay.  
  
“Hmmm. I’d be better if they’d give me anything for the pain.” Klaus pouts and glances at the curtains before raising his voice a little. “Apparently it’s against hospital policy to help the injured.”

  
Vanya is sure it’s meant as a dig to the angry looking nurse from earlier, and she’s also sure that the nurse is just reluctant to give Klaus any drugs considering the trackmarks on his arms and the wild look in his eyes. At the same time her heart twists in sympathy for Klaus, looking at how he’s shaking from the pain.

 

“Anyway. That doesn’t matter. You’re here to free me from their clutches right?” Klaus asks, eyes gleaming and lips twitching in a smile that’s taking on a manic edge. (It makes Vanya wonder if Klaus is coming down from a high.)

 

“Are you okay to leave?” She asks, looking at Klaus injuries. Vanya wants to ask what exactly his injuries are, but she doubts Klaus will tell her honestly. She doubts whether or not he actually listened when he was checked over by a doctor or nurse.

 

“Yeah. They just wanted to make sure I wasn’t leaving by myself.” Klaus rolls his eyes and says a bit louder “It’s only a mild concussion.” He looks back at Vanya and gives her a pleading look. “So, if you just go ask the nurse.”  
  
Vanya nods, pushing the curtain open again so she can see out into the ER. It’s like the curtains where somehow holding back the noise of the hospital rush around them. She manages to catch the angry nurses eyes, giving a small awkward wave and cringing back at the attention. The nurse walks over, eyeing Klaus with a noticeable disdain. It makes Vanya wonder again how Klaus was acting when he was brought in, she’s going to give the nurse the benefit of the doubt and assume Klaus was being rude.

 

It doesn’t take long for Klaus to sign out, against the advice of the hospital but to the relief of the nurses and doctors of the ER (it feels like everyone is side-eyeing them as Klaus signs the paperwork but Vanya isn’t sure if it’s just her natural anxiety playing up). Klaus gestures grandly as they leave the ER, like he’s waving farewell to everyone there and for the first time Vanya notices the dark tattoo across the palm of his hand.

 

“Hello.” She reads and Klaus looks at her with raised eyebrows, mouth curling with confusion and amusement at her sudden comment. “Sorry, I was just reading your tattoo.”  
  
“Oh, yeah. I forgot you haven’t seen them. The other hand says ‘goodbye’.” Klaus grins at her, and they both pause on the side-walk outside the hospital as Vanya considers the best way to get a taxi from there. She thinks there’s some tins of soup in her kitchen, which should be easy enough for Klaus to eat but she can’t remember if he likes tomato soup or not – she has the vague feeling one of her brothers hates it. Vanya opens her mouth to ask and is cut off as Klaus lets out a loud whistle and shrugs at her.  
  
“Welp. I’m gonna head off.” Klaus waves, turning away from her.  


“You can come back to my apartment. You probably shouldn’t be alone right now. I can make some soup and toast...” Vanya trails off at the look in Klaus’s eyes, there’s something in his expression that she thinks is pity, probably at how desperate she sounds for company. The pity turns to sadness and then something hardens in Klaus’s eyes and his lips curl into a mocking smirk.  
  
“I’ll be honest. That sounds just horribly boring and I just… yeah.” He trails off, and clicks his tongue at her as Vanya feels her face heat up in embarrassment.

 

Klaus stares at her for a moment as though he’s waiting for a response, but Vanya can’t think of anything to say. He starts to turn away again and for a moment it looks like he’s hesitating. Vanya hears Klaus click his tongue again, watches him shake his head for a few seconds and then he starts walking away, still hunching over in discomfort.

 

Vanya feels small and weak and alone as she watches Klaus leave. She’s already thinking about how she’ll talk about this in the book – about the broken, desperate, sharp adult her brother who was once so sweet and kind is now. Dad damaged them all and Klaus is like shattered glass, catching the light and cutting anyone who touches it.

* * *

 

2014 – AGE 25 YEARS

 

Since publishing her book Vanya’s received a few letters about it, forwarded by her publishing agent. There’s been some hate mail, from old fans of the Academy who accuse her of lying and dragging their old heroes through the mud out. Those letters bring back her feelings of guilt and anxiety, the memory of Diego’s angry phone call after the book hit the shelves. She never reads all the way through the letters, she just skims them and throws them away.  
  
There’s been a few letters from minor magazines looking to interview her but Vanya wrote the book as a form of therapy, not for fame. She’s not Allison, the thought makes her anxious in a way that her book readings in stores had made her.

 

Fan mail is the rarest type of letter that gets sent to her. It’s always young people, young enough that they might not have been fans of the Umbrella Academy when they first became famous. Abused and ignored young people who wrote to her sharing their own feelings of neglect. Vanya always responds to those letters, her words awkward but heartfelt as she thanks them for their kind words. She never tries to keep a correspondence going, knowing that those kids would only be disappointed once they got to know the real her and realized she isn’t as brave as they think.

 

Her book has been out for almost a year now, so it’s a shock when she’s checking her mail and laying in the pile of bills is an envelope and her name written on it surrounded by red hearts. Her mouth twitches in a slight smile, half entertaining thoughts that maybe the letter is from a secret admirer even though she knows it’s more likely from a fan. (It would, she thinks, be nice to have a secret admirer, be nice to know that someone likes her for who she is.)

 

She sits down on her couch as she opens the letter, simultaneously happy and dreading what the letter might say and the praises it might contain that she doesn’t deserve. Anxiety, a craving for attention but also a fear of it – she’s spoken to her therapist so many times about the way she grew up watching her siblings and knowing attention was both the best and worst thing someone could give you.

 

The opening line of the letter gives her pause. The handwriting is shaky, words alternating dark and light like the writer was struggling to press the pain hard enough to get their words on paper. Its the same handwriting Dad made them all practice, cane in hands and smacking against wrists until they all had the perfect penmanship and style, but with more years and less care than when they would write as children. She looks at the end of the letter without reading past the open and sees Klaus’s name signed, a love-heart and smiley-face written beside it.

 

Vanya takes a deep breath and places the letter down on the table. She stares at it for a while, listening to the sound of traffic on the street below. There’s a part of her that’s tempted to pour some of the admittedly cheap bottle of whisky she keeps in the back of a cupboard into a glass, so she can sip something calming as she reads. It’s too early for whisky though, so she stands and makes herself a cup of tea.

 

When she sits back down on the sofa it’s with a cup of tea and her pill bottle set down on the table next to it. (She worries sometimes, that she relies on the pills too much, maybe she needs to look into some other ways to deal with her anxiety.) Vanya picks up the letter again and begins to read.

 

_Dear Number Seven,_

 

_I realize I’m a little late in responding to you letting Dad’s whole neglecting children shtick out of the bag – unfortunately the prison library wasn’t keeping up to date with all the new releases. Anyway I wanted to let you know I’m a big fan of you going all tell-all on some of the Hargreeves family secrets._

 

_Especially love the whole tortured sweet-kid thing your memories of me have going on. It’s always nice to hear about your own ‘attention-seeking behaviours’ and ‘rebellion in indolence’. I know I sound like I’m being a bitch but we both know that subtlety and being passive aggressive is more Allison’s thing than mine. So I mean it. The book’s great._

 

_Ben hates it though. He won’t shut up about how Dad might have made him a monster but you reduced him to a tragedy. I wouldn’t take it personally, he says worse about me all the time. In my experience the dead don’t have a lot patience for the living._

_  
We read it in rehab, it was very handy with cutting through the regular bullshit with the counselors. They weren’t super happy that I was reading it in the sharing circle but honestly every rehab consists of like the same four types of junkie stories anyway. Whenever they wanted me to share about myself I’d just select a section from your book and do a live reading. I did a lot of live readings in the rec room as well, broke out my impersonations of everyone to admittedly mild reactions. Dope sick people just don’t know when to laugh._

 

_Anyway there was one part of the book I wanted to talk to you about. The bit where you go on and on about your guilt over never thanking me for telling Mom to give you a name. I just wanted to assuage your guilt – I didn’t do it for you. I was super hungover and everyone was being super loud, I didn’t know how to handle a hangover or comedown yet. It took me a while to work out the whole hair of the dog trick._

 

 _Overall the book was great. I’ll have to actually buy a copy so that next time I see you you can sign it for me._  
  
Love,  
Number Four

 

Vanya drops the letter back on the table, grabbing her cup of tea with shaky hands. She holds the mug in her hands, warming them and trying to sort through the letter she just read. Her emotions feel raw, eyes prickling with tears.

 

She has no idea what Klaus’s intention was in sending her this letter. If there were any intentions or if he just wrote and sent it on a whim. There’s elements of genuine praise but also what she imagines would sound like bitter mockery coming from Klaus’s mouth.

 

There’s no return address on the letter, no phone number scrawled across the paper and Vanya wishes she had some way of contacting Klaus right now. She feels like she needs to talk to him, to reconnect and listen to anything he might want to tell her.

 

Instead she only has the letter and her empty apartment.

* * *

 

2019 – AGE 29 YEARS

 

Being back at the Academy is brining to the front so many old emotions, Dad being dead is only making it worse and Vanya is half tempted to turn around in the entrance hall and leave. She could call for an emergency appointment with her old therapist, talk through everything going on in her head in a safe space instead of confronting it alone, surrounded by her siblings.

 

It is somewhat nice to see them all again. The only thing Vanya ever missed about the Academy was being able to see her brothers and sister every day. They may not have been close towards the end but seeing them everyday at the breakfast table was made her feel less lonely. For a while she was hoping that maybe they could have better relationships after becoming adults and then Ben died. Everything that started when Five disappeared and they had to face the fact none of them would be around for ever was made so much worse with the loss of another brother.

 

She’s always known that Ben would have hated his statue but she’s never been certain how Five would have felt about his portrait. He wasn’t the most sentimental of her siblings but she remembers his dorky sort of ego and vanity, how he would blush if she joked about the amount of time he spent on his hair before public appearances. Vanya thinks he would have liked the proof that he was remembered.

 

Vanya feels small sitting in the main room with her siblings and not just because of her height, Diego and Luther might be the most physically intimidating but being in a room with the combination of Allison and Klaus’s personalities makes her feel like she’s fading into the couch. There’s is something comforting about how happy Klaus seems, as he twirls around the room in a stolen skirt, gulping down Dad’s expensive alcohol as loud and brash as ever. She can’t forgot the letter he sent her though, that reminder of the fact Klaus feels things deeper than he pretends to.

 

She wants to reach out to him, now that she has the chance – at the very least she feels like she should make sure he still has her phone number after all these years. Any plans she might have had are disrupted by Five’s return and his warnings about the apocalypse and Leonard…

 

For once in her life it suddenly feels like things might improve. She has her brother back, she feels a connection to someone and maybe she can start reaching out to all of her siblings, build up to having a real relationship with Allison at least.

 

Vanya doesn’t forget about Klaus, even in all of the chaos that happens over that week. She hasn’t forgotten about him for a moment since that night at the hospital but it’s always been easy for her to push those thoughts to the back of her mind. For some reason it’s always seemed important to wait for the right moment to talk to him and the right moment doesn’t come.  
  
Instead what comes are the memories of being small and alone, of being abandoned by her family of being betrayed by Allison and – for a while there’s nothing there. She’s not entirely aware of the world around her, it comes and goes. Bursts of color and noise as Leonard cleans her up, the sound of Allison’s wheezing breath echoing through her head and then it’s like the world is wrapped in cotton wool. She doesn’t break out of it all the way until she kills Leonard (Harold) in a swirl of knives and blood, in a swirl of sound as the world echoes and vibrates around her with energy.

 

Vanya surfaces from the fog and tries to find her family, tries to find Allison needing to know if her sister is alive or dead. It doesn’t matter though because they all hate her, looking at her through the glass as she cries inside her cage. It’s not really hate on Klaus’s face though, it’s pale, sickly fear and that hurts as much as the hatred. Fear is what motivated Dad to lock her up that first time, fear of the monster she could become.

 

The world rumbles around her, the cage thrumming in time with her heartbeat, everything reduced down to the sound of her blood pumping through her body. She presses deeper into the noise, cocoons it around her body until there’s nothing else exists.

 

The world feels so dark and dead. It feels so lonely, like she’s the only real person left. A single shinning beacon surrounded by shadow and echoes. But she can make it bright, she can illuminate everything up and stop the loneliness and darkness and quietness.

 

She can light up everything and everyone at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of personal context for you guys, my brother had a lot of drug and alcohol abuse issues. He was about ten years older than me and got into drugs/alcohol when he was a teenager so I grew up knowing about stuff like that from a young age. But anyway the point I want to make is that like my brother was an asshole a lot of the time, don't get me wrong he was also amazing and I adored him but there's something about having a sibling that's an addict that you grow up knowing this person who you could ask for help with anything but also cannot rely on at all. The next chapter, with Ben is probably going to touch a lot on the fact that you can hate someone for using drugs because of how much you love them.


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